A Step Beyond Sally...

"Have you got a boyfriend?" "I have father, and he's perfect."

2010-06-15T14:05:00.004-05:00

And we're getting married!

The Earth Shook; And We Are Blessed?

2010-05-13T23:42:00.004-05:00

I think if I write a book or ever turn my blog into a book I may call it "The Earth Shook: and We are Blessed?"

Three weeks after the earthquake in January I finally had a chance to sit down on the second floor of the hospital and try to put together some written thoughts. I just re-read that post and my last post and had a sad realization. I wrote about my bleeding heart and how there was no bandaid I could have ordered from the WHO at the time. Thinking about it now I see that I have been putting bandaids on my heart ever since that day.

To keep my mind off Haiti and all the suffering I jumped right in with both feet upon arriving home. I've been home for just over 2 months now and I am already done with the CNA class, registered for summer school, accepted to nursing school (thanks to two great doctors Dr. Romano and Dr. Hurley and one great nurse who knows who she is!), watched the whole first season of Glee on DVD (in honor of Molly) and started to plan my wedding. And almost every time someone asks me about Haiti I have no idea what to say. I have daily communication by phone and email with at least one person in Haiti but I just can't talk about it like I probably should.

Tonight I watched a bunch of CNN videos about the state Haiti is in right now and it just breaks my heart. There is absolutely no reason why children should be dying from diphtheria and a panic is raising about the outbreak and spread of it. Our organization was working on getting vaccines for our kids in the orphanage prior to the earthquake and it was difficult, they are expensive and require refrigeration which requires not only a refrigerator but electricity to keep it cold which also requires a generator because the government supplied electricity is never reliable, and not only a generator but also fuel to keep it running, and fuel is hard to come by these days. We learned the hard way when some vaccines got lost and warm among the flood of donations we received without a good logistics structure because of the lack of staff at the time. The saddest part to me is that not only are the vaccines necessary and not only are they hard to keep good until used by small organizations like mine, the big ones can't even figure out how to make it happen. Even after all the money that was raised, even after all the donations that were sent, it still is not feasible to obtain, store and vaccinate 1 million people all living in one area of the country. I'm sure it would be a logistical nightmare for one person or team to be in charge of, but the thing is I'm not even sure that the government is working on it, or designating a team to coordinate at all. The government didn't seem to care about its people before and I don't see anyone or any international organization really holding the government accountable now.

I often think about Molly, Ryan, the Ferdinand family, Wilfrid and many others who lost their lives in the earthquake. It seems like yesterday to me, but it seems like forever ago. I am thankful that I get to talk to Erin all the time. I love her and I would really be lost without her. When I tap into my emotions I know I could turn to her. She reminded me that the 13th is today. The 13th is Molly day, the day her body was found in the Father Wasson Center. I think about the fact that we are approaching the day that would have been her year anniversary at NPH and she would have left Haiti to go onto graduate school. I was hoping it would be here in Chicago so we could have coffees together and see movies on friday nights. I have so many tears inside for her and the things she was supposed to do but they don't come very easily and I think its because I still deny she is gone. I don't understand the therapy behind people posting things to her facebook page, but I send her emails on facebook so I guess its the same therapy just different approach.

I think about our ex-pequenos who still do not have houses and who are still asking daily for food, the ones who are so grateful for the $25 distribution they received last week. If only I had someone to ask for $20,000 so they could get another $50 for next month. $50! That's nothing here in Chicago. But in Haiti it can be 13 meals. I only regret being home in a nice house with nice furniture and a well-stocked fridge when I think of one of them and wonder if they have any food to eat today and when I wonder if its raining on their plastic tarp.

I live with Jim and Cathy who have been so gracious to open their home to me and let me live in the spare room and feed me and give me use of their car as I transition home. I think if I wasn't living with them I would end up a hermit in a little apartment because I really enjoy my time alone and quiet. I think its just a phase because pre-Haiti I used to be out of my house every second of every day. And I remember also being very tired. In Haiti for 18 months I was go go go with a blast on extra high speed the last two months. And I thought I was tired before, to say I'm still tired is and understatement. I fake it by telling myself its just because I'm getting older and I've experienced 20 years of life in those 18 months, but I know its because I'm missing the way my life was in Haiti and also anxious for my life to really start again here.

Its also really hard to know how much work I did in Haiti and while I know it was appreciated I also see that life continues on without me. I knew this going into it that one day when I left someone would take it over just like I took it over for Erin. But then the earthquake happened and now the programs have expanded and I wonder how long the staff and volunteers can take it before burn-out creeps into their bones. Maybe I just wasn't strong enough and burn-out got me much more quickly. Or maybe I'm just a spoiled rich kid because I didn't have to stay, I had the choice to come home and I took it. But I don't really think that's it. I realized it was time to give my brain and my heart a break and tried to make the mature decision to come home, not take the easy way out. Because being away seems harder than staying some days.

Besides all the orphanage and hospital programs, NPFS now has a new hospital to build, a new ortho center that deals with prosthetics and therapy, a new street program for the new orphans, maybe some new schools, more food distribution and the list goes on and on. Now more then ever they need prayers and they need money. I'm doing what I can to still manage the finance staff but its not the same as being there and seeing the projects hands on.

About 60% of me really wants to go back to Haiti for another year even if it means living in a tent again, but I will never be able to remove myself from all the administration and just deal with helping kids or people in the street clinics or hospital, and at the same time I'm terrified to go back because if the lay of the land looks the same as it did 2 months ago I think I would lose it. It had to get better we kept saying and it doesn't seem like it has. I really wish I had the funds to go in July when Molly's family goes. I would like to be with them to stand, to pray and worship together at the Father Wasson Center in solidarity and remembrance of Molly and Ryan. Maybe my plan and God's are not the same on this one but soon I will find out.

So after all that debbie downer stuff the reason I think I'd name my book "The Earth Shook; And We are Blessed?" is because even after this catastrophic event, the Haitians and our staff and volunteers ARE still continuing to be blessed. I am comforted by the photos I see of smiling faces and happy children and their parents. It means the spirit hasn't died. It means that little things done by individual people still matter and still make someone's day. That's the whole reason I went to Haiti in the first place to make one difference for one person.

I hate when people talk in what ifs, or if onlys and I refuse to do that. I only know the earthquake happened, we lost some very dear people in our lives and our lives have somehow found a way to go on. Somedays it goes on by not getting out of bed or off the couch and sometimes it goes on when I find out Erin got a job or that I have an interview. The earthquake sucked but God did not forget to shower us with some blessings since then. Sometimes I don't see them, but most of the time I do. I see it in Renand's face when I talk to him on skype and explain that I am worried he will regret leaving Haiti and he tells me I am wrong. His willingness to do what I want is a blessing to me. It will be a blessing for him too because while he won't ever admit it, he is tired, and in his future I see a blessing of nice long vacation where he doesn't have to get off the couch for days if he doesn't want to. He had to go back home and continue soldiering on to take care of people and distribute food and find new properties for the volunteer house while I got to stay here and sleep in a room with a bed instead of in a tent with a blanket.

I often wonder what kind of conversations I would be having with my mother if she was still alive. I have no doubt she would have been proud of the 18 months I spent in Haiti and I think she would be the one to point out the elephant in the room that I feel so many people dance around. I am a different person since before I went to Haiti. I am much more happy in my own skin, more happy in every decision I make, more content with where I am in life and where I am going, much more thankful for the life God gave me and the opportunities my parents gave me growing up. On most days I am calm, but some days I find my old boisterous, entertainer self coming through. My life goals have changed, that is for sure. I do not want to focus my life on my job. I want a rewarding job that lets me enjoy my life and live my life not as a slave to my job. There are some things that are just not important to me anymore and its hard to reconcile that when I'm around people who find material things important or who take no effort to understand that some current customs and traditions are not the only way we could choose to live our lives. I don't mean that in a way to sound unpatriotic because everyone knows I hate engaging in political discussions, I mean traditions such as getting married. The big show with lots of money being spent is just not important to me. Neither is the dress or a big reception. What's important to me is that the love of my life wants to marry me and we want to spend the rest of our lives enjoying the fact that we are alive and allowed another day to be blessed. The money we could be spending on a big lavish wedding would not be something either one of us enjoys but rather it would be for everyone else who wants me to have a big wedding with a big party. My answer to that is small church wedding, pizza and beer reception, no $500 cake. Simple. The $1000s we could spend in our minds is much better spent helping out the ones who cannot buy a meal that day.

Molly planned her wedding from beginning to end (yes I'm serious and everyone teased her for it) and for this and many other reasons I wish she was here today. The easy thing to go would be to hand her over my small list of requests and know that I could just show up on the day after all her hard planning and enjoy the wedding of both of our dreams! I thanked God today that Erin will be here to share in that day with me and we will surely be partaking in a tasty gin and tonic, toasting to the happiness of the day and as always and everyday remembering Molly.

Home, sweet home?

2010-03-09T01:24:00.001-05:00

I’ve been reflecting today on what to call a letter that is meant to thank all those who have supported me over the last two months, meant to update those who have not previously received an update and also serve as a little therapeutic writing for myself. I couldn’t sleep tonight once I laid my head on my pillow and I kept thinking how nice it will be to one day have a place to call my own again. Then I realized I “home” has recently meant a lot of things to me.

In December I was almost happy to return home to Chicago after a self-torturing but well-thought out decision to leave Haiti and pursue nursing school. Home had been the Father Wasson Center in Petionville for over a year and I had family (Renand, Erin, Molly, Johny, Normi and Lucrezia) there. When the earthquake hit Haiti on January 12^th the only logical response for me to return home and make sure everyone was all right. Everyone was not all right.

Molly (see above in the family listing) and Ryan (Erin’s visiting brother) were not all right. The two of them left our home in Petionville and traveled to the their next homes with God. I spent the last week with Erin and her family, John, Kathy and Katie, to be with them for the Ryan’s memorial. John and Kathy so graciously offered their home to me anytime I need one. And I really felt at home there, especially being with my ti se’m (little sister) Erin. I pray for them everyday and I’m asking you to pray for them too.

Today I asked someone for a recommendation letter for nursing school. And I remembered Molly. One night we were at home on the 6^th floor with our dueling computers on facebook and she asked me to write her a recommendation letter for graduate school and I was so happy to do it – it’s the first time I was asked for one of those and I felt pretty special. And Molly was pretty darn special. I am slowly starting to realize I will never get to talk to her again. I pray for her family every single day and I’m asking you to pray for them too.

Random things are coming into my thoughts now that Renand and I are in Chicago and visiting with family and friends and doing things that I’m used to doing at home. Today as I was taking sheets out of the washer and dryer (Thank God for washing machines!) I remembered all the cool things people sent to me in care packages including sheets from Jan, Kathy, and Debbie and movies and books. All of those things were so special to me and were such nice hand-me-down gifts to the rest of my family who stayed home in the FWC. I also used a butane torch to light some candles yesterday and thought about how nice that would have been to have in our kitchen instead of matches that were always lost, wet or stolen.

I think about our ex-elev (kids who grew up with NPFS and now are on their own) and how they are struggling to survive just like everyone else in Haiti right now. Sometimes they just need someone to agree with them that this sucks, and sometimes they just need someone to agree with them that yes we still need to praise Jesus because he is good and he didn’t make the earthquake happen. I am continually amazed by the strength of Haitian people. In the US lots of people are worried about the psychological effects of the earthquake on the people of Haiti and the volunteers. From what I know over just 18 months in my last home I think the Haitian people are a people of strength, courage and practicality. In general people’s lives were difficult before January 12^th. Now their lives are difficult but on a different level that has been stepped up a lot of degrees. But Haitians continue praising, they continue getting up in the morning, they continue walking to distribution points, they continue looking to help their families any way they can. Our older kids who have no schools left to attend in order to finish secondary school and have no homes left except the tarps and tents we are trying to get to them are not complaining and hard pressed because they feel like their lives are over. They are just waiting to see what happens next. That’s just life. I have heard that so many times that I am not worried for their mental health. It really just makes me sadder because some kids had a really good chance of finishing school and continuing on to university and advancing their lives – now what do they do? When will the school re-open? When will they be able to make a little money to start to buy their own food for their families? These are not supposed to be questions that end up as rhetorical questions. These are questions that should have some answers to them. I’m sad because in the current situation those questions are rhetorical.

I’m really thankful to everyone who has supported me every “step” I took beyond trying to be Sally Struthers (of the 1980s in her CCF commercials). I especially want to thank everyone who has recently helped me after I returned home both from, to and from Haiti again since December. My great supporters Lisa, Krissy and Jenni who organized the Friends of Robin Fundraiser of which was awesome and a huge success! Everyone who attended or sent money is truly remarkable and a most of that money will go straight back to Haiti in someone’s actual hands to give to people who need $20 here and there to feed their families for the next few days, or who need $40 to buy another tarp or tent, and things like this. I say it a lot and I’ll put it to writing here that I’ve been truly blessed with sensational, first-class friends and family. Thanks for all the kindness, gifts, free meals and hugs that I have received so far because they have not gone unappreciated!

Photos

Day 21 and counting

2010-02-02T08:41:00.002-05:00

6:50 pm Monday Feb 1^st

I have been trying to write this since 8:30 this morning. I have also had the intention of cleaning up Fr. Rick’s inbox since 8:30 this morning and neither have happened yet.

Its day 21 of the 7.0 earthquake in Haiti that has just devastated this country. I spoke to Renand at 5:00 in the evening on January 12^th, he told me that he was ok and that the Father Wasson Center had collapsed and he was on his way to make sure everyone was ok. I hung up with him, called Fr. Rick and said I would meet in at JFK to get there the next day. The only communication with Haiti after talking with Renand was a few emails from Gena as she had a few minutes to run up the street to Dr. Fanfan’s and use her satellite to send us updates. We took helicopters in from the DR because nothing else was working.

Erin was rescued from the rubble, Dr. Castro was rescued from the rubble and Rachel got out with a broken arm. We lost our Molly and we lost Erin’s brother Ryan.

I’m sitting outside on the balcony of the hospital watching the Marine’s who just walked in with a few babies wrapped in tin foil looking material because now we opened a neonatal and maternity ward and I’m thinking to myself this is still not real.

New things to add to the list of things that can’t possibly be real slows down a bit each day but it is still here in my brain.

Molly cannot be gone.

Erin cannot be sitting in a hospital bed in Florida learning to reuse her arms and fingers again. I hear her in my head yelling "speaker on" to her cell phone the other night.

It is not possible that over the first week I saw over 1000 patients come through our doors with such severe open wounds and broken limbs that I became numb to it the first day.

It cannot be real that the smell of gangrene did not make me barf, the smell was here for days on end.

Did the prisons really release the prisoners when the walls started falling and now we have ti Mario back with us at the hospital?

The whole downtown of Port au Prince cannot be the piles of rubble that I saw, and I did not see dogs eating the remains of bodies at the cathedral where Archbishop Mio died.

The general morgue cannot be back to normal capacity because front loaders picked up 1000s of dead bodies and dropped them in mass graves out in Ti Tanye.

Do I really have the history and first hand knowledge of a 4^th world morgue that I know what it means to be “back to normal” there?

I am not sleeping under a tree each night with 4 other fantastic volunteers who came to help us make it through these weeks.

Did our FWC really get reduced to a pile or rubble? How did I get to be the one who decided to leave? And why did Molly and Erin and Dr. Castro and Ryan and Rachel have to suffer?

The smell of dead bodies coming from the buildings on the streets has to be a dream.

The children with two amputated limbs was something I saw in a horror movie not in our hallways.

Fr. Rick’s mom joined my mom and Molly and Ryan and 1000s of Haitians in heaven the Monday after the earthquake – I hope our mom’s are friends. I hope they are watching us and giving us the strength that I wonder where the source is. and it had to be them who sent us Guardian angels like Patricia Tweedie and Katherine Harig, and Cassandra Chapman.

My little photocopy Molly cannot possibly have died. It’s not possible that I will never hear her voice again or tell her how much I miss her.

The Italian military, civil service, the Slovakian government, the USS Comfort, the marines, the Israeli military and countless NGOs have not come to our hospital and banded together to help all these people who now are missing limbs and some of them missing more than one.

How did I keep on top of 500 emails a day?

So many times I wonder what I’m doing all day. I feel like I can’t finish one thing but somehow things get done.

How did anything move and progress these past days?

How did I spend a three days in the Dominican Republic away from everything sad and tragic and still return to keep on keeping on?

How did my little blind baby Eveline survive her house falling and end back up here at Gena’s Kay Germaine? I will go to see her tomorrow because she is sleeping now.

Are we ever going to get our pediatric hospital back to pre-earthquake? We were desperately searching for funding before this all happened. What will happen now that we have extended our services?

Now we have 210 peds patients, are still doing 20 surgeries a day and have started to receive into tents on our front lawn the post-op patients from the USS Comfort and other hospitals who can not support the post-op care – as many as up to 300 patients in the next 2-3 weeks.

Did it really take a disaster for us to get noticed by CNN who I spent the day with yesterday , and Fox news and the BBC and 60 minutes and so many more news and radio stations – all who I have interviewed with over these past few days. Our programs for kids, our programs for young adults, our programs for those marginalized, our programs for the handicap, our programs for those with no one else, these all deserved to be recognized long before a 7.0 earthquake. Will the international community really see to it that Haiti get rebuilt? How will they do it, who will monitor it?

I can't imagine if I was a 11 year old boy like Veder who was out playing when the earthquake hit and knew his mom was inside when the house fell. I can't even fathom the pain of my little Joseph Ferdinand who lost his whole family in his house when it collapsed, the basement level under 3 other floors which then had other floors fall sideways on them. He is broken. But he will survive. I know him and he will survive. he was at university when the earthquake happened. This is a young man who is putting himself through school while still taking care of 4 younger brothers and sisters, he was father, mother, brother, provider. He will survive because its his only option.

People say its going to rain tonight. This means the next wave of disease and patients coming through the doors because most, and I mean almost all, people are sleeping in tents throughout the city or literally on the streets outside the place they used to call home. Blankets and sheets do not protect from the rain. And the rain moves garbage and disease quickly along the streets as the water flows. I hope to get my photos uploaded but the internet is so slow for now. The complete opposite of how quickly water will spread disease.

I have stopped crying since Wednesday. My dad worries about my mental health. I think a lot of people do since I was crazy enough to come back when I heard about the earthquake. But I think about it two ways. 1. I was crazy enough to move to Haiti for a year and half to begin with. Over that time I learned to be much more appreciative of what we are given in this life. We looked death in the face on a regular basis. I went to the morgue and buried the indigent, we blessed and prepared on average 2-3 babies per night who died in our hospital. I played with kids in the slums who had no pants or shoes, or had nothing to eat for days. Those of us who volunteer in Haiti, especially the girls, earn the title of soldier because of what we see and what we do. The prior years training helped me to make it through the last three weeks. It has been hard and I have cried a lot but without my training I would not have mentally survived it. 2. These are my people. My sisters were in the building that went down. I didn’t know if my brother was still inside. I needed to get here to dig with my hands to find them if I needed to. I needed to see them and know they were ok. I missed Erin’s helicopter by 10 minutes when she was flown out of Haiti. Molly didn’t survive but I was here to help find her a beautiful casket, I was here to pray for her and her family at her funeral mass, I was here to help Vern with whatever he needed to make sure she made it home as quick as possible to her family, I was here to cry at her funeral and I walked the halls here the first few days not seeing anything but Molly and trying to be strong for her. I was here to make the video of her service and our prayers for her family because they need to have those things to help heal their hearts. I was here for Molly because SHE was a soldier. She was a princess for sure but she was a soldier and she would have been right alongside of us caring for the wounded. My heart bleeds inside for her and for Ryan and for their families. I never really understood that term before. But now I know the physical and emotional pain of a bleeding heart. I had to keep it together to help guide patients, to help curb media, to help volunteers figure out what to do, to help organize all the help that flooded in the first few days, to help find some structure in our crisis cracked infrastructure, and all the while my heart is screaming. SCREAMING, because I can’t talk to Molly, because I couldn’t reach Erin. SCREAMING. That is the bleeding inside. When my mom died we got to say goodbye. I got to tell her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me and thank her for all she taught me. We didn’t get to do this with Molly. I didn’t get to tell her how much I admire her for coming at 22, how much of an inspiration she was to me and other volunteers with her easy way, her caring spirit and her love of life. Its not fair. Its just not fair and my heart bleeds. For this is there no band-aid, you can’t order this from the WHO with urgent medical supplies.

Is it possible that nuns fight with priests when they are too emotional about the one child they think we could take better care of? Everyone has the one child they want to follow to a healthy life or help to find a better path in life. The saddest thing to me is that not every child can be saved. Some little children are so malnourished that they cannot lift their arms. The malnutrition program is a timely regimen, and it doesn’t happen overnight. And the malnutrition remains even when a baby with a missing limb is placed in the next crib. I wish medicine worked in a way that if enough people wished for health it would just happened. I wish that the world worked in such a way that if enough people wished for all the people o Haiti to have a house again it would happen or wished for enough food that we don’ t have to worry about riots, or for enough French or Creole speaking translators that enough volunteers could attend to everyone who needed anything in this country right now. I’m surely and idealist but its nice to wish, its shows there is hope. If this was the case I wouldn't need to think about how to get into nursing school - I could just become a team leader for all the health-wishers of the world.

Everywhere you look here, there is despair, there is the grandmother who does not know how she will care for her grandson in the tent they have on the street when he is discharged. There is the ex-pequeno from our home who does not have a house anymore and he’s hungry. He doesn’t need us to tell him we are waiting for tents and will bring food. He needs the $20 I gave him so he can buy food. And he is a good kid. He worked in the FWC and now he has no place to work because its gone. He took excellent care of the little kids and no he has no job, his house is gone and we are his only family. As we are to about 200 other ex-pequenos who have no where else to turn. But at the same time the hope still remains. I see it in the mother who knows her daughter is alive, she's missing limbs, but she is alive. I see it in our weary staff who also lost their homes and families but still come to work each day to care for the wounded. I see it in the bright eyes of the newly arriving volunteers and a small glimmer is left in the ones who are leaving. I see it in the lady who started selling her tangerines again on Route Freres, and I see it in the patients who return to have their dressings changed. I see it in Joseph who will go to Germany to study and try to start a life there. I saw it in his and Renand's laugh at dinner, even through the tears there are some small giggles. The spirit is there, the Haitian spirit is one of survival and this set-back has surely changed the country and the people but it will not ruin them.

I am sure I will stay until the end of February and then return to the states. I’m not sure what my place is here and no one else is either. We are all just trying to do our best to move forward. AS we figure out who will play what role I will feel better about choosing to leave a 2^nd time. But then I think my heart will start to bleed for Haiti.

I need to see Erin. I’m talking to her as much as I can. I worry about her but I know she is going to be fine. She earned the title of soldier way before I did. I followed her in the ranks and was told I’ll learn to be a soldier just like she did. I would give anything to be with her right now. To tell her how sorry I am for what happened. To tell her I’m sorry I begged her to come back and then left her in the FWC. To kembe her in my arms and tell her how sorry I am about Ryan. To share with her all the requests people give me to see how she is each day. To have her here to hold each others hands when it gets too much to handle multiple times each day. To steal up the roof and drink a gin and tonic at 2 in the afternoon and the ask Fr. Rick to get out of his meeting to meet us. And then we would remember Molly.

LA through the eyes of a 12 year old Haitian

2009-12-29T12:10:00.010-05:00

Magdaline, Edeline, Roberto, Jean Tony and I were in LA with Fr. Rick and Jennifer the week before Christmas for a cultural exchange. We were invited to stay at the home of Alex and Caroline Daniels.

There are so many cute moments I remember from the week with the kids. Starting with the excitement of being in the airport:

I wish I had video of the girls learning how to use escalators and moving walkways. It was the first time I used the escalator in the Port Au Prince Airport and I had the amazed look on my face too just like them. Digital photography is also still very exciting to our kids from St. Helene. Magdaline and Edeline offered to take all the photos for the trip (in total we ended up 1285 photos) beginning with the photos in the airplane. Here is a sampling but I will leave out the photos of each page of the American Way magazine and the 45 photos of the airplane TV. My favorite is the sleeping man who sat next to Edeline and she thought it was funny to take his photo. He didn't think it was funny when he woke up.

The most exciting times for the girls were going to the mall and Target because we don't have those in Haiti. We don't have parking garages with lots of nice cars parked in one place. They had a whole store to choose from and they chose to ask for the Bonnie Bell lipgloss three pack. I love these girls! Caroline Daniels is a former Miss America and the girls had fun trying on her tiara. We had lots of space in the pool house to practice for the performance the kids were going to do for the party on Sunday night. Caroline bought all of us presents and there are some great shots of the excitement on the faces of everyone.

The party brought a lot of wonderful kind people and the kids loved talking to everyone and practicing English. They even met David Hasselhoff and Roberto and Jean Tony remembered him from Night Rider!

Coming Home

2009-11-30T09:25:00.009-05:00

December 17, 2009 is the day I arrive back in Chicago to stay after 454 days in Haiti.

I'm going to take a CNA certification class in January and hope to get a job working in a hospital or medical setting to gain experience before applying to Nursing School.

I need a job.

It's been really tough for me to make the decision to leave Haiti because I do love it here. When I took on the Assistant Director job in June it was with the intention of reviewing around Christmas to see if I have the interest of becoming National Director in training. I now know that I don't want to. I love the idea of becoming a nurse better than I love the idea of being National Director of NPFS.

It means that I will have to start all over at the bottom in the medical field to gain experience and prove myself but that is ok with me. I have some great friends who have all offered their couches to me for the weeks of the CNA class and when someone asks what I need I've been saying "Jewel giftcards and rainchecks on tuna and macaroni and cheese to get me through the weeks without a job!"

Here's some great photos from over the weekend that I wanted to share with you all. The first is our NPFS version of the Glee Club!, second is Erin with little Matilda (Vicky), third is one of the most rambunctious group of boys and I got them to almost sit nice for a photo!, fourth is our photo with Momma Jean when she came to visit us!

AND>>>>>>

2009-11-27T22:24:00.005-05:00

CLASH OF THE TITANS is having a remake in 2010!!!!!!

But it will be hard to beat the 1981 version with the young Harry Hamlin!

Photo Documentary of the Past Two Months

2009-11-27T12:13:00.015-05:00

In October I went to Rome for the cannonization of Fr. Damien the Leper. We toured St. Peter's Basilica and the Papal Tombs, the Museum, the gardens and so much more. I loved the Gelato! My favorite piece in the museum was the slaying of Medusa because it reminds me of watching Clash of the Titans on Channel 9 in my grandpa and grandma's basement when I was little.Here's a group shot of some of us in front of the Colosseum. We walked from one end of Rome to the other to get here. Then I realized we had to walk back.
After the trip to Rome I went home to Chicago for a little R&R and went to visit Millie with my brother. She is great - always so supportive. And cute.
I also had dinner with my friends Claudio, Margie and Katherine at Cheeseburger in Paradise. I'm really glad I eat meat again because the burgers were delicious!

November brought All Souls Day again and we had the memorial service at the cemetery. Some of the kids, including inspiring photographer Polento, came down from Kenscoff to join the service. We also ate the first pizzas and bread produced in Francisville's bakery.
Maeve celebrated her 62nd birthday in Kenscoff. We went up for a little party to celebrate one of our favorite's in Haiti - Maeve!
In November Jennifer came to visit with a great group from the states. Here we are sweating and laughing in one of the slum schools. Check out Amaral's bedroom eyes at the camera!
American kids complain their desks aren't big enough. These kids write on the walls to complete their work.
Singing in the slums.

This is Erin and Molly on their way to see Bill Clinton at one of our street schools.

This is Erin and Molly afterwards - he didn't show up.

Thanksgiving Preparations!

The table before the rush...

Augusnel, Johny, Molly, Renand, Me, Erin

Me and Molly like the wine.

The table after the rush.

Congratulations Elizabeth!

2009-09-22T18:20:00.003-05:00

My newest Godchild, Elizabeth Holub, was baptized on September 6th and here is the photo of her with her mom Kristen, dad Andy and older brother AJ at the church! My baptism birthday is September 5th so we have a special little connection. I'm happy to welcome Elizabeth into my little family of Godchildren of Zachary, Alexxis, and Sydney!!!!! Each night I say special prayers for each of them and think about them all the time.

Our next trick is to use them for magic carpets. Fr. Rick Frechette August 24th

2009-09-13T18:40:00.011-05:00

I wish that everyday something really fun or exciting happened to me so that I could write for 10 minutes each day. But alas, my life seems rather monotonous and routine on most days because one month goes by and I realize I haven't written for a long time. Its good for my soul, I need to do it more - thanks for the reminder Jenni!

A few weeks ago I was asked to be on a radio station to talk about Haiti. It originated when a young man accompanied a journalist to the orphanage and he told me he has a radio show and would like me to come on a talk about the Kay Germaine kids and what Gena is doing for special needs children in Haiti. I ended up going the last weekend in August. I talked about Kay Germaine but he also wanted to talk about me personally. It was fun and he asked me what I liked about Haiti and how it was different from home. He played funny songs like the Battle Hymn of the Republic and Hotel California (he didn't have any songs about Chicago and thought it was close enough!). He was really surprised when I told him I eat griyo and buy it from the street vendors. It was a good experience and here's a photo of me in the booth. It was really hot, I was sweating a lot.

I also took my first tap-tap (public transportation) a few weeks ago. It only took me one year. Sad. I went with Molly and one of our staff to see Mario in the jail. He has been in there for 7 months now and I have never been to visit him. We waited outside the jail for almost 2 hours because of course visiting hours are at the convenience of the guards. While we were waiting Molly and I got hit on by the guard of course. Rarely can we go somewhere and not have someone try to get our phone number or find a reason to see us again. I never thought I would find something like this annoying. Mario looked ok and we found out that he has a bodyguard of sorts. Someone who was asked to look out for him by one of our other kids who was in jail and recently got out. Now we know to give this boy some money and/or clothes and food each time we visit too. Mario said there are over 40 boys who share the same room with him. While we were waiting we could see some boys looking out the windows - the rooms are made of concrete block and are about 9 feet high. At about 7 feet some of the block are removed sporadically and those are the windows. Mario asks for food and soap each time and this time he asked for a mattress because he needs to "rent" one now if he wants to sleep - that's what the money is for.

I went with Fr. Rick to Boise Idaho last weekend for the fundraiser of Project Haiti and the St. Alphonsus Foundation. I stayed with two wonderful people Kathy and Steve Rayburn. They were so good to me with food, treats, a comfy bed, a warm shower, trips to the store and especially with good conversation and good advice. Steve works for Apollo College and he's willing to help me look for more information about nursing school and grants and things.

The dinner was really successful with the largest turnout ever - that's saying something in this economy!! They did a cool thing by auctioning off the desserts on the dessert table. I took photos to share with everyone here because we never see such beautiful desserts in our neck of the woods. Debbie Hamilton and her family were so great to me too. Debbie and I took a cruise, with the roof off the corvette, to an outdoor play where we met her family. We had a nice dinner and watched an hilarious play called Tuna Christmas. Two guys played about 15 characters. If its anywhere around I recommend it to everyone!

We also had a relaxing and peaceful brunch on Saturday where we were all able to sit around and just talk and ask questions. St. Alphonsus has been a big supporter of St. Damien for years and years but haven't been able to send down visiting teams for a few years so this was a nice way to catch up on what's going on around St. Damien. I didn't take many photos but here is the self-portrait of me and Fr. Rick with Mitzy at the dinner. Mitzy will come to visit in November and I"m looking forward to seeing her. Before that Debbie comes next week and I can't wait to have a drink or dinner with her at the Hotel Montana!!!

This is Jolaine. She's living in the tap tap room at the hospital now and we're not sure where she will go for placement yet. Molly takes her a few days a week to the therapy pool in Kay Germaine and she is slowly getting use of her hand and her foot that are really weak. Norma thinks that if we can find her some proper fitting gym shoes that they can get her walking. She is really a sweet baby. Molly and I taught her how to give little kisses "ti bo" and when you tell her in Creole give me a little kiss she lean in with an open mouth to give you a kiss on your cheek!

The Father Wasson Center (where I live) was the location for a party given for all the kids who grew up with us but are on their own now. We call them ex-elev in Haiti but NPH has recently renamed ex-pequenos to Hermanos Mayores. This is a photo of me and Leopole the social worker for the kids who are in the St. John Bosco program. There was lots of dancing and socializing and I think it was good night. I went to bed around 11:30 and the food still wasn't served!

The last thing I want to write about is Evena, one of our former kids. She is one of our kids that I'm not so sure she should have ever been allowed to live on her own. I think she has some thinking difficulties. She has been pregnant 5 or 6 times, she's about 30, and only 2 have lived I think. She was recently pregnant again and was having some difficulty with edema. Because Father Wasson Center is responsible for any ex-kids in emergency who do not have any family, she called Renand to help her because she had seen a doctor and needed to go to the emergency room. I told Renand I wanted to go with because I had never been to another hospital except St. Damien. Evena wanted to go to her house first and get some clothes. I could hardly believe the walk she had to take that morning and again with us to get to her house. She lives in the middle of a ravine like area that we could probably call a small landfill, we walked past pigs and garbage to get to her little apartment. Every time it rains the water pours down between the houses and just moves the garbage along with it. I wanted to take a photo but it was so inappropriate and I was so out of place to begin with. When we finally reached her house I wanted to cry. Her house is 6x6 room with no electricity and of course no water. She has table that seemed like it had a mattress but I think she was sleeping on a cardboard box with sheet on it on the floor. It was sort of bittersweet for me to see that she wanted to get the baby bag and take it to the hospital. The baby clothes were not the right size for a new born and there were way to many than would be needed for the first day or two in the hospital. I think it was all she had so she brought it. She packed the clothes for herself in a pillow case and she packed enough for a month. Its useless to say not to bring so much because I think she felt like she had to bring everything she owned. She has a little porch but its only big enough to hold her little proprane range and a stool to sit and cook on.

The hospital situation in Haiti is one that I could not believe. Now I do. In order to even be seen by the ER you have to pay first. At least in the States if you need to be stabilized the ER will do that. Not in Haiti. Its typical to see groups of families outside the hospital pooling their money together to come up with the fees. Everything has to be paid before hand. The staff suggested Evena have someone to stay with her to make sure she is clean and to make her food. There is no room service in Haiti. We even needed to bring her sheets and a pillow and some water. Renand had to find a nice woman, Carmelita, who we paid to take care of Evena and who cooked for her. We brought a first round of groceries, cereal and milk and a plastic bowl and spoon and some cheese and crackers and then Carmelita took over making food for her everyday. They couldn't even begin IV or medicines until someone bought them from the pharmacy. This is how it goes: the doctor or nurse write what the patient needs on a scrap of paper, family or a friend or caregiver take the slip to the pharmacy, radiology, lab, etc. to see if what the paper says is available, then the person has to take it to the cashier and pay, then go back to the pharmacy, radiology, lab etc, to show that it was paid for. If its meds or supplies like rubber gloves, or vitamins, etc, then you can take the things back to the patient room -and make sure to find the nurse so she knows its there and she can administer it. If its labs you take the receipt to the lab, show them, then wait for them to come to the patient. Its amazing to me that more people don't die regularly throughout the day because most people wait until the very last minute to come to the hospital. Its also amazing that the human body can survive as it does. Things are totally different in the developed world.

The night before I left for Boise we got a phone call that Evena was having the baby, this was at about 5. We got there around 7. The baby had already been born. This is what I saw when we got there. Evena was on the bed moaning in pain because her stomach was still hurting her. I couldn't tell if she was drugged up or not - with her its difficult to tell on a regular day. The baby was wrapped in a some clothes and blanket and laying on the bed next to her, right under the window and it was fairly drafty that night. I took a photo of the baby to show how small he was. He was so cute. Two days later they left the hospital. As far as I know they are ok. Renand had given Evena a whole box full of baby clothes and also has given her money to make sure the baby has milk because her is not producing milk herself. This baby and this woman need your prayers a lot.

And to finish this post I will ask for some more prayers for Gena and her entire staff at Kay Christine because we have lost another one of our kids yesterday. Audelina was 15, she had been with Gena and Kay Christine since she was born, she had meningitis, she was blind and she had been suffering from a lot of congestion and was having

trouble breathing. She had been to the doctor but they could just not

get on top of it. Please keep them all in your prayers. We will have the funeral at St. Helen tomorrow afternoon.

Yeah for Walmart!

2009-08-20T17:59:00.001-05:00

Now calm down, I'm just excited because I got money from a settlement that I had no idea was happening!

I've found that showering and shaving and then applying bug spray do not mix. Molly Hightower 7/8/09

2009-07-22T14:38:00.012-05:00

There are two blogs I like to check these days because they both make me laugh. One is called failblog.org and the other is one I've shared before cakewrecks.blogspot.com. I realize its not “nice” to laugh at the stupidity or mishaps of other people but I just cannot resist because these keep me connected to the sarcasm that I miss so much from home. This afternoon I'm sitting in the Miami airport waiting for my flight to Germany where Joseph and I will go this week for training on mygoodshop.com. I went outside to walk around and came across this sign that seems completely ridiculous to me. It doesn't qualify for failblog but in my head it does.

The more I work in Haiti, and the more I become a grown up, I have come to realize that sometimes people will do things that I simply will never understand. Common sense is not so common cross-culturally. But this was in the US...I don't get why a fine would include the 50 cents??? Is it because most people don't pay on time and when they do the fine is doubled so the local government really doesn't have to deal in change? If anyone has any ideas please feel free to rid me of my ignorance!

The weeks of July have flown by since I returned from Chicago. We had baptisms for 30, first communions for 60 and the yearly departure of many of our kids leaving to live with their families for the summer. On my birthday Maeve, Norma, Gena, Jean, Alfonso and Liz threw me a little party in Kay Retreat. Afterward we went to the little bar around the corner for a beer. It was really great! I was so surprised and even more happy that they made me a cake and cookies. The cake certainly doesn't meet the requirements of cakewrecks and for that we should be really happy because making a cake in the high altitude of Kenscoff is not the easiest of feats.

I decided after accepting the position with Fr. Rick that I need to ensure I carve out some time for myself to decompress at least once a week. I am attempting to commit myself to Saturday weekly swims with Molly (my new friend!) in the Kay Germaine pool with some of the kids from Kay Christine who love to swim in the pool and also to bring Eveline (my blind baby from the hospital) for some much needed aqua-therapy. Who knew aqua-therapy is as easy as swimming and moving our bodies around!!

So far I've done this once and we all had a blast. Eveline and Jolaine (another baby who needs therapy) were worn out really quickly and needed to go back home because they were overstimulated and probably pretty sore and tired. You can see how not-happy Eveline is in this photo with me and Kristi.

After we got all the kids out of the pool I noticed I didn't have the key to the truck. After some foot searching in the pool, cracking my head open on the metal posts of the canopy cover (no stitches were needed) and scouring the entire property of Kay Germaine I found the key on the bottom of pool. It had been a long time since I fell and that started a whole weekend of tumbling. I'm glad its over now.

Before finding it, I thought for sure losing the truck key would be my first big blunder being the new assistant. As is turns out the biggest blunder, that I am aware of, happened at the meeting we had with the staff of the orphanage. Fr. Rick, Ferel, Alfonso and I had a meeting to explain some of the role changes and answer any questions and I followed most of what was said in Kreyol. At the end the staff said they would like to hear from me and Ferel translated. I talked about being excited for the new positions, looking forward to working with everyone and that my management style is not one of dictatorship but one of making good decisions based on input from the people who carry out the daily operations and what is best for the kids, and that I have complete confidence that those responsible are making good decision, that I really value the importance of understanding history and how it brought us where we are in order to make good decisions for the future, that staff who have been around much longer than me are important assets to NPFS. As normal for any meeting at NPFS the time went on and on and on and on and on. When it was my turn I was so proud of myself for listening in Kreyol and then for adding my few thoughts. Then I found out that the (constructive?) criticism is that I didn't speak for long enough. Boo for me, minus one.

One good thing is that I will now have an office that I will share with Joseph and hopefully Erin if she comes next month. Yeah for me, plus one. Its a good thing that I will be able to separate out my bedroom and office because sometimes I feel like I can't get away even when I'm in my room because my computer and my desk pull me in, not to mention the constant knocks on my door and calls on my phone.

Next week I fly from Germany to Mexico (dad it seems you were right in predicting that maybe I'll get to travel the world this year), because I will represent Fr. Rick at the National Director meetings. I hope to learn a lot at the those meetings but selfishly I'm really excited to spend some evening with Daniela the HC from Mexico and Dortje the NPHI projects manager. We have a plan (in Haiti we say planification) to watch chick flicks, eat tacos, drink margaritas and shop for pirated DVDs! Kathy Bauman, one of my adoptive moms, sent me a whole care package with DVDs and I loved them. I no longer take movies and DVDs for granted - would give anything to be able to go to a movie theatre even just once a month. And I really miss the two best parts: the pretzels with cheese and the previews. I saw a movie with my dad when I was home and we missed the previews; before that I never knew how much we both loved that part of a trip to the movies.

I spent last night with Marijo Rozyicki at the NPH home in the DR. It was really good to sit with her and connect to someone who has been in working inside the NPH homes for a long time. She gave me some good insight into making sure I take care of myself and many other words of womanly wisdom. Sometimes I get ahead of myself and think about how I should plan out the next few years. Then I remember I don't NEED to plan it out. I only need to watch for what God is showing me. It's really hard. Really hard sometimes as I still wait for my life to get started and then realize it has. The more time goes by, the more I fall back into the thinking about retirement accounts and property values and bank accounts and more schooling and children of my own, and all the different opportunities I left behind to become a volunteer. Then the disastrous economy floods my brain and I want to cry.

I read The Hole in Our Gospel (thanks for the gift Michelle!) and it freaked me out halfway through because its about the CEO of Worldvision and how he fought taking on that job. Even though being in Haiti is nothing like what he is doing, the idea of giving into where I'm meant to be is scary because I second guess myself all the time. Sometimes I think I would like to go back to the comfortable condo and my brother's comfortable car, and the comfortable idea of spending lazy Saturdays with my best friends. But then I find my way back and know those days are somewhere in the future, but they are not meant for now. The past 10 months have flown by faster than the 10 before them and I'm still waking up happier than I was at home for a long time. The part that is most difficult is not being as close as I would like, not being able to pick up the phone and go to Jimmy John's with Jenn and Jeannie, or not being able to take a break and go to Dunkin Donuts with Paula or Nicole or Karen or Claudio or Jeannie or Becky or Josie (I had a big iced coffee about an hour ago in memory of those times!). I do not know how long I will be in Haiti, I do not even know if after a period of time Fr. Rick will think I'm doing a good job and want me to stay. I am learning a lot and maybe one day 10 years from now I'll be in another place that I never imagined. I remember often Fr. Rick telling us in mass one morning that God draws straight with crooked lines. It is really true. When I think back on the past 12 years since my surgery (TWELVE YEARS!), there were many times Jeannie and I talked about how we know if we are going in the right direction and many times I see now that what seemed like crooked lines at the time all gave me courage, wisdom and strength to turn and draw with more crooked lines in Haiti. Maybe one day I will turn around and see my life as a pretty portrait of crooked purple lines like Harold and his purple crayon. I loved that book.

I needed to send a photo of Francisville to one of the offices so on Friday Johny and I climbed the water tower at the hospital and took the photos. We also took this self portrait. It was just like climbing a water tower at home, but no one came to yell at us to get down like if we started to climb the tower in Roselle!!

Maeve treated me to a dance performance at the Caribe Hotel. I think one day I will splurge and stay there overnight. A whole bunch of us went to the performance and we saw Maeve's Godson perform a Mexican dance that was so cool. Made me feel very out of shape.

I've been waiting in the airport now for 4 hours as my plane is delayed and delayed. If I could create my perfect job it would be a professional people watcher in the airport. There was a crazy lady helping me with a ticket who's name was R. Wong and she just didn't get it, it reminded me of Jennifer Lopez in The Wedding Planner when she's ringing the doorbells in her building and saying “susie wong...you don't know me but if you asked for a cup of sugar I wouldn't have one because I don't know how to cooooook...” and then there is this German girl who pulled out her yoga mat IN FRONT OF THE GATE and did a whole hour of yoga. Bizarre but would definitely make my airport person watcher blog. I couldn't figure how to take a photo without everyone seeing!

So now, the joys of technology are killing me as my battery is running out and everyone and their mother in the airport is plugged into any and all electrical outlets. But let me tell you the positive that I've learned to type into Word and paste it later onto the blog!

I also would like to ask for your prayers, for our kids and the changes we are implementing in the programs, for the staff, for the volunteers, for my family who is still supportive of my choices to stay in the sunny caribbean and especially for my aunt Millie who recently found out her lymphoma is back and subsequently fell and broke her leg requiring surgery. She is at the top of my list of favorite people and I do not like to think of her in pain so she can use your prayers especially these days.

Much love.

Love Many, Trust Few, and always paddle your own canoe - words of wisdom by Millie Sundwall 6/11/09

2009-06-11T17:20:00.028-05:00

It has definitely been too long since I've posted any updates. I feel like I often say this but still don't find the time to update and I don't know how this happens time and time again. Over the past month I have done a bunch of traveling which has made me exhausted! But I rounded out my world travels (ha) with a final stop at home for two weeks.

Before the recap I have to tell you that people in Haiti, especially our kids are very saddened by the death of Michael Jackson. I just don't have anything to say about it. Many were disappointed that I didn't know anyone going to the funeral. The idea is that if you are from the States you would go to the funeral. I try to explain but its useless! There has been Michael Jackson tributes on all the stations and today in the orphanage the kids were watching a lot of his videos on laptops! I wish I had it on film. There certainly is a sense of mourning happening here.

In mid May my boss, mentor and friend Monica can to visit Haiti and spend some days with me. We were able to go see some of the street schools I had never seen before. It amazes me how proud the street children are to go to school and how they can learn in some of the conditions. Our schools are in the poorest of the poor areas of Cite Soleil and Wharf Jeremie. Some of the schools have 300 children and the space of what three of my childhood classrooms would have taken up. In one of the schools there were close to 40 kindergarteners in the smallest room with practically no light, in another classroom there are three classes going on simultaneously, 3^rd grade faces the east, 4^th grade faces the west and 5^th grade faces the north. Its amazing how the children fit in the classrooms and yet how intent they are on studying. School is something to be very proud of in Haiti and I'm so happy that our schools are able to reach so many who would otherwise not attend. In about half of the 18 street schools the children are receiving a hot meal, cooked in two enormous cast iron pots and served in little tin bowls – for most of these kids its the only meal they will get in a day.

We also spent a sweltering hot afternoon in the car waiting at the bank while Anette (my dear dear friend from St. Luc) went into the bank to get a cashier's check....2 and1/2 hours later she came out and we dropped it off at the Italian Embassy. But Monica and I were able to get a good quality chat in and also talk with Fortillian who is my favorite driver for hire. He has been working with NFPS since the beginning and he is very loud, boisterous, opinionated, kind and generous. He calls me Mrs. and I think he doesn't remember my first name!

Monica and I took a small 17 passenger plane to the Dominican Republic on a Thursday afternoon after we tracked down a carrier through a travel agent because the small flights that go back and forth to the DR were closed until further notice. Apparently the temporary licenses they have are up for renewal and I'm not sure if they are flying yet or not. The flight was short and rather uneventful except that I remember we were freezing and then when we got off the plane into the shuttle bus it was even colder because of the air conditioning. We stayed for the weekend at the orphanage in the DR where Kieran and Suzanna were very gracious hosts. WE had the best taco dinner one night and chicken dinner another – something we don't get in Haiti! The grounds in the DR are really pretty and the children were beautiful. WE had one dinner in town at a pizza place where we went with Cassie the volunteer coordinator, Friztnel (Renand's brother) and Antoine (another ex-pequeno from Haiti who are there learning agriculture) and Jude (an NPFS student studying medicine in the DR). We also went to mass with the kids on Sunday and got to hang out at the home of Megan the home correspondent who lives in a rental house with her boyfriend. It was so nice to be inside her house and watch bad MTV reality TV on her satellite.

This covered wagon reminded me of the wagon that the guy dorothy visited before the tornado was working out of in the Wizard of Oz. I had to take a photo.

I was supposed to take the bus back to Haiti that Monday in order to fly to Italy on Tuesday. THE BORDER WAS CLOSED. So instead I had to purchase a $350 ticket to Miami for Tuesday morning and pay $150 to stay in a hotel that night. I could have stayed in the hotel with the wonderful dental volunteers Beth and Lauren but I have to admit it was nice to have my own hotel room with a big cushy bed and a bath tub. One day when I return to the States I will definitely need a place with a good bath tub. It was more convenient to stay at the airport than to go back to the home and have to get up at 3 am to get back to the airport on time for my 6:30 flight. In the end it worked out and I had a nice dinner and go to know Beth and Lauren a lot better. I spent the afternoon trying to contact people in Haiti because I needed a bag to get sent over to Miami with Fr. Rick so I could have my black dress, nice shoes and some other clothes for Italy. In the end all that arrived was my black dress and the shoes – but thankfully Caterina, my Italian mother, let me wash my clothes at her house when I arrived in Italy.

Fr. Rick and I had a great time on the plane overseas and it was nice to spend some time with him talking practically about my job and NPFS and possibly scenarios for the future. I like hanging out with him and just talking, its like a big brother relationship in a way and I appreciate being able to talk frankly and honestly with him. And he makes me laugh. A lot. We spent 15 Euro on two cokes and sandwich in the airport and found ourselves missing our inflated prices of Haiti.

In Italy I saw many people who I have met over the past months including some photographer friends who have visited several times, Stefano and Andre. Stefano had his photos on exhibit along with the Fer Forge and you can click here to see the youtube video.

we were at the exhibit two nights and I was exhausted from the jet lag. I got to meet the mayor of Milan, the haitian ambassadors from Rome and talk with Martina Columbari who remembered me from December! We also met with some donors for special projects here in Haiti and it was the first time I really felt part of the decision making team! I got to see downtown Milano, the city center, and it was beautiful. My business associate (that reminds me of a Will & Grace episode) at Accenture took me for a tour and took me to a local place for lunch. Her name is Eliver and she is awesome. I hope she can come to visit me on this side of the world sometime. She's one of those people that I feel like I have been friends with her for my whole life just from being with her one day.

Friday night after the mass in the a beautiful park we had dinner at a local restaurant with my favorite hollywood man, Paul Haggis. He is a nice nice man and he was very encouraging also about my options to stay in Haiti longer.

That Saturday I almost got to meet Andrea Bocelli because we were all going to Tuscany for the day and to have lunch with him. But the car I was in was only going for the day and the traffic was so bad and not moving that we had to turn around because there would have been no time by the time we got there. But maybe next time...I suppose its wishful thinking to spend two nights dining with world famous people. So instead I had a lovely dinner with Caterina at her local pizza place. We walked there arm in arm and I asked her for her motherly advice about what to do for the next few months. She is so practical in her thinking yet so kind at the same time and I am thankful to have her in my life and in my corner. After dinner she took me for some more gelato, because I LOVE IT, and then we went to bed in order to get up at 4 to go to the airport. She was the most gracious hostess and I hope to stay with her many more times in the future.

I came back to Haiti for one and half days – even time to request more petty cash for the volunteer food! And to wash my clothes because dirty laundry seems to follow me everywhere I go.

I stayed with Jeannie and John for two weeks while I was home for a little R&R. Of course I tried to fit in seeing as many people as possible while there but never fit everyone. I did have a great time seeing my friends from college, my LOS girls and of course the Friends friends. Claudio was awesome to make so much time for me. Jeannie Alyssa and Robin were great to take me everywhere I neeeded to go and meet with everyone I tried to see. There was Maggie's wedding,

the Cywin family pig roast!,

a dinner and a movie date with my dad, have lunch with Mel and her two 6 mo old twins who already know what lunching is!, shopping on my brothers birthday, pizza and cake on Jeannie's birthday, catching up with my GPhi's at Houlihan's, Lily's 3rd Birthday party, visiting the new Friends office downtown and having a Friends lunch reunoin, a fun night at the Ranch and also many breakfast, lunches and dinners and just hanging out with friends - I think I gained 10 pounds while I was home.

This is me and my girls Jenn, Ally and Kate playing with my photo booth on my computer!

Jeannie and I spent a day with my aunt Millie and we had the best time. WE layed on her bed in the nursing home and talked about life, men, marriage, babies, politics, everything you can imagine and I was so happy to have this time with her. I felt like we were transported back to when my granny was in the nursing home and she would let me babble about nothing every night. Aunt Millie gave us the great words of wisdom that I titled this entry after. She also told me to do what makes me happy in my life because one day I will blink and I will 91 and wonder where the time went. She is still the same to me as she always has been, full of love and good conversation! and I really miss her a lot. She hopes we see each other again but if we don't she said she was glad we had this day together. She told me to live my life and be happy and I love her for her support.

I also got to talk with Margie Kempston one of my friends that I know through Friends and unfortunately I didn't get to see her this time but hope to over Christmas when I come home for another visit. Margie is as much of a traveler as I am so maybe one day we will meet in an airport!! Thank you for the great talk and your constant, kind support Margie. I miss our everyday talks!

I also spend a lot of time over at my cousin Dina and Paul's house with her two girls Lily and Grace. Lily and I played tea party for hours and we swam in the pool. We also talked about our shadows and how they follow us only when the sun is behind our heads. Lily reminds me a lot of how Kate was when she was three years old. I miss being able to spend time with them and with my Sydney, Ally my monkey, Kate and AJ. But I love to live vicariously in everyone's lives through photos which I proudly show to everyone here who will listen to me talk about them!

Thank you to everyone who helped me replenish stock here by buying things and adding to my cash fund- IT IS SO GREATLY APPRECIATED!!! I wouldn't be able to make it very far without all the generous help. I also arrived to find several care packages waiting as well. I am so blessed to have such great family and friends!

My friend Sherman who doesn't read this blog regularly like he should (I put that in here just to get him back because he posted a photo of me on facebook that he needs to take down) came back to Haiti with me on the 18^th and he brought his totally cool friend Steve. They were here for a short time but got to experience the hospital, the orphanage and a little bit of the Haiti nightlife! We had dinner with another friend, Pilar, who happened to be in town on Saturday at my favorite hotel in Petionville the Hotel Kinam because I love the fettucine alfredo there - it has peas and ham in it!! ooohh the little things. here is a photo of Sherman and our physical therapist and dear friend, Norma.

Sherman and Steve came for a good weekend because they got to see the graduation of the kindergarten and the 9th graders. There are about 35 kids graduating 9th grade who will move down to the city in July to live and finish their secondary school. In our home in Haiti it is traditional to dance into the ceremony and its so beautiful! The kindergarten graduates also sang many songs and I put a video below. Also here is a photo of Jean Benoit and myself - I am very proud of him for graduating because he had a rough start this year and almost got kicked out.

(Bill and Mary Kay - your little Richard is the 4th one from the left in the front row!!!)

We had the re-election for Senate here again last Sunday. Last month when the first elections happened the roads were closed and we were on warning to be careful because Lavalas (the Aristide supporters) were threatening “to make trouble” as they say here. Nothing happened and barely anyone voted (100,000 roughly out of 9.1 million people!). So last week at the re-election I don't think anyone voted. Joseph is usually on top of these things and knows but he didn't even know how many people voted because I think this time was an even worse turn out. No one cares about politics here because everyone has been so disillusioned by the corrupt governments that the idea of every vote counts is obsolete.

While I was home I sought the grounded advice of many including Michelle and Kathering and Jan and Jenn and Steve and Eileen. The general consensus from people was similar to advice I received from Fr. Ron Hicks before coming to Haiti and that was to continue the same work until you are no longer happy. I find that when you are no longer happy you are not listening to what God is telling you and that if we just listen, and also trust, that it will all fall into place.

When I came back to Haiti two things happened that I'm really happy and content about. The first is that we now have high speed internet!!!! Its such a big deal for me a Joseph because we upload photos! Second is that I realized that right now I still love Haiti everyday when I wake up here. To look practically at my options for the future: I've been offered an awesome position to be mentored by someone I love and admire; couple that with the fact that the economy is so bad in the US that I do not think I could get a job and I would need a job to pay rent, pay car insurance and pay for nursing school. Nursing school can wait because nursing right now is beginning to hurt but always people will need nurses so I can do it later when the economy turns around and I can afford to put myself through more school. And the best part about this is that Fr. Rick has asked me to stay on as the Assistant National Director of NPFS. I feel quite honored to be trusted and to have proven myself capable of such an offer. After much praying, pondering and sought advice from those I trust, I told Fr. Rick last week that I would accept the position. So what does that mean? It means that hopefully my friend ERIN KLOOS will come back to Haiti to be the Home Correspondent!!! (Erin!!!!!!) It also means that I will staying on in Haiti indefinitely as of last Thursday. News travels fast here in Haiti because before I even said yes, people were congratulating me! I will be helping Fr. Rick on all aspects of the National Director role. I hope to grow into where I am like Brenda is to Olegario in El Salvador – people trusting her as they trust him and knowing that when he is gone she gets the job done. I also put the stipulation that I will do it as long as I still feel happy doing what I'm doing. My life, as yours, is short and if God starts to guide me in another direction I don't want to miss out. But for now and into the future my bus is parked at 117 Ave. Panamericaine, Petionville, Haiti and I'm really happy about it! Here is a photo of some of the reason why I am staying:

Surgery Room!

2009-05-17T09:43:00.006-05:00

We celebrated Fr. Rick's 30th Anniversary as a priest this past week. I love that he lets me take self-portraits with him...

My favorite surgeon, Guiseppe, and his team of doctors are here to perform the first surgeries in our surgery room this week. They let me scrub up and join them on Friday to watch to hernia repairs!!! Here's me in the outfit minus the mask. funny!

And here is a photo with some kids from the malnutrition program at the hospital. We've spent a couple evenings over there because our Italian friends have been making pasta dinners.

Today I'm off to pick up Monica at the airport and then spend the night in Kenscoff because tomorrow is flag day and the kids have a whole program planned for it. The kids from Kay Germaine had their flag day celebration on Friday:

And if you haven't seen it yet, here is the link to youtube for the Heroes of Hope series done by Friends of the Orphans. This will air on several stations throughout the US in the next weeks. And it features your truly, so keep an eye out for it! Click here to see my big debut

no title

2009-05-08T18:34:00.008-05:00

I have no title for this blog because not much has happened to me this week.

I was able to look up info about both ECC and Harper's nursing programs. Any advice from anyone who knows anything about them will be very much appreciated.

I got a lot of work done.

Cleared up a confusion of a he-said/she-said by writing a clarification email and then received one in response telling me not to start he-said/she-said rumors. It did not make me happy but airfare home on American Airlines was too expensive for me to buy myself a ticket home. It helped me realize I do not like confrontation by email...but I also do not like to deal with people who do not understand whole stories before adding their two cents.

Haiti had some sad news that in the DR someone had cut the head off of a Haitian man and people were playing soccer with his head in the street. So there was a manifestation in front of the DR embassy which is right behind my building. It was loud but not as many people as expected. They basically marched up and around the corner and back again, trying to collect more people. It was peaceful but of course the UN had 12 trucks here and the police were in the street guarding and directing. For those of you who were surprised I used the word manifestation, I was too. I thought this must be another word they use from French or something so I looked it up on the cool little widget on my macbook and it had as the fourth definition: 4. a public demonstration, as for political effect. So I don't know how that word never made it into my vocabulary...ESPECIALLY as a political science major in college. But the older I get the more I'm learning not to be so hard on myself. So instead of thinking what a big idiot I am, I'm only thinking was a little idiot I am. Here's the photo from our veranda - that is tribute word to Bea Arthur and the Golden Girls (I have some good vocabulary!)

Here's a photo of the Oasis hotel going up next door. It keeps getting bigger and bigger everyday. Its definitely the fastest finished project I will witness the whole time I'm in Haiti. Just goes to show that no matter where you are, money talks. There are street kids begging for food 6 blocks away but this hotel is going up at light speed.

Here's some cool links:

www.betterworldbooks.com it a was started by some Notre Dame kids in 2002 and has grown into the coolest online bookstore. I ordered 7 books by Maeve Binchy and Jodi Piccoult and it was only $15 and I didn't have to pay shipping. And they are green conscious and earth loving!

www.cakewrecks.blogspot.com this is my new favorite blog to check everyday. its hilarious and totally worth looking at back-posts because they will crack you up. My favorite is the naked baby carrot jockeys. trust me...look at it!

I was so proud of my $5 used pairs of shoes that I wanted to wear them to make sure I won't get blisters...funny how they were already broken in to exactly how they fit on my feet! I wasn't smart enough to change my shoes the after the second or third time I had to go down and up the 6 flights of stairs. In fact, I wasn't smart enough to change them after the 4th and 5th time I went down and up. But by 2pm when I realized what I had been doing, I ditched my shoes all together. See? Exciting week, huh?

I think I'll go up to Kenscoff tomorrow night to hang out with Maeve and Norma. I like them and I miss them when I'm down here by myself all week.

I'm getting eaten alive by bugs so that's my que to turn off the computer for the night.

Shopping for shoes in Haiti

2009-05-05T20:05:00.009-05:00

My friend Nadine has been so awesome to me over the past months I have been here and I have been wanting to put a story up about when she took me to Tabarre to buy shoes that I need for my two dresses for when I go to Italy later this month.

We went to the market in Tabarre and it was much nicer than the market in Port Au Prince. I successfully found two used pair of size 10 shoes in Haiti that are not too dirty and I only paid a grand total of $10 US for them. I would have been able to pay that at Walmart or Payless but this is Haiti so I'm pretty proud of my deals. Especially because I'm white so it wasn't such a bad deal. I have to share that the price of Cherokee straw flat sandals that we could buy at Target for maybe $12.99 is the same price on the floor mat in the market as a pair of $80 Liz Claiborne dress pumps.

The good news is that I can wear them with two of my all time favorite sundresses that I can wear again (yeah!) thanks to the hot caribbean sun and my 1000 flights of stairs per day.

It was also interesting to me that Laurence, our social worker, was able to buy a full silver (not plated either) teapot creamer and sugar serving set with tray for less than $12 US. I told her I had to write down the number and look it up on antiques traveling roadshow website or something. So I live in Haiti where I now do what used to be my least favorite thing, look for used things, or as we call it in the states: Antiquing. But now I think when I return home I will frequently shop at Goodwill and Salvation Army. But then...what will I do when I am finished with the clothes? Because I always give my stuff to them!?

We also stopped today at the home of one of the driver's sisters. She has a mango tree and never eats them. Right now mangos are in season and they are on every corner but still fairly expensive. We got a whole grocery bag full and gave them out to others in our building when we got back so they didn't have to pay money to get them. I've taken on the Haitian way of eating mangos by slicing off the top and sucking all the juice and pulp out of it. Messy, but delicious.

Here is photo for Mary Kay and Bill. I have the hardest time getting their Godson, Richard, to smile a normal smile. He is so cute and so funny because he always wants to make an funny face or a fake angry face!

Another interesting thing is that I finally understand the way the roads run here. At least a little bit I do because my fabulous assistant Joseph brought me a map. Now I understand how we can leave the building one way and travel for 45 minutes one way toward the sun and end up in the exact same place if we leave the building going the other way away from the sun for 45 minutes. Actually here its just sun sun sun and sometimes its to bright to even look up and see which direction it is coming from. Must be why I have headaches lately too: changing of the seasons happens here just like at home. I thought I could escape the barometric pressure change...the rainy season is either going to be loved by my head or hated by my head. And just to be funny, I think God made sure my liquigel Ibuprofen tabs were all stuck together today in one big melted glob that I can't even cut out of the bottle (yes. I tried with knife to cut it in half).

Anywho, back to the roads. So I finally have an understanding in my head, and I remember when someone explained to me that Delmas (the city between me and Port Au Prince) is on a number system so when you start at the bottom of the hill in PAP its 1 and goes up to over 100. Well I just figured out a few weeks ago that just cause its numbered doesn't mean the numbers match in the other side of the street. I saw Delmas 43 on one side and figured that Delmas 44 is on the other side. I was very confused when I looked to the right and saw the street sign that said Delmas 69. WHAT? But this is Haiti and now I know.

Laura wrote me an email today that was awesome. She talked about cleaning her refrigerator or something and just what she did during the day. She remembered people telling her while she was a volunteer that her life must be so exciting compared to theirs. Well, mine is not either!! So Laura thank you for this email, it made me feel like we were on the phone.

I made apricot lemon bars today and they will never be "just like gram used to make" especially while I'm here in Haiti. I got the recipe out of a book, but if anyone has my gram's recipe handy please send it to me so I can try again.

I don't really have anything else exciting to say or any new photos so I will close by explaining the photo of my door. The dog is a gift from my friend Erin Dirksen and many friends who we used to work with at Friends Minnesota. I wrote a bubble that says "m'ap fe sekirite" which means "I'm making security." I put it up mostly to annoy Renand and Johny because they think the dog is so ugly compared to the german shepard type dogs here; but also to be funny because I always leave my door open and now I have a watch dog!

today I saw three funny things

2009-04-28T19:34:00.008-05:00

Today I went with Alfonso to see a house where some of our kids live. I'm hoping that we can make this house into a project to sponsor when we create the over-haul of the orphanage projects to re-do all the houses. The boys were so polite to invite us to sit down and chat, I think they were just so happy we were there. Here's some photos of what the neighborhood looks like from the roof of that house. It's typical for a house to be half finished because in Haiti most people just build their houses as they get money and that takes a LONG time.

Here's three funny things I saw today during the two block walk to Omni Market - where was my camera when i needed it?:

a. A man walking with a small child on his hip, another small child holding his hand and continually slipping on the street, and a huge bag of charcoal on balanced on his head.

b. A woman walking with nothing, holding her 6ish year old daughter's hand. The daughter was carrying the dead chicken. Perhaps she wanted to.

c. A man walking with a small generator balanced on his head. And here is what the generator looked like. I'm not even joking.

I shared this with everyone during our delicious dinner of chopped salad with all the fixings like corn, black beans, peas, tomatoes, eggs, cheese (the reason Norma and I went to Omni Market and as a result saw the generator.) - Renand's response was: This is not weird to me, it's Haiti. So there you go...(in the voice of the dad from My Big Fat Greek Wedding).

Here's me on my balcony with the hotel building still going up in the background. Sunday they worked until 1 am and then didn't work on Monday which wasn't a holiday as far as I could tell. Dumb. I'm not sure if my hair was still braided in this picture or not, but I did have the front half of my hair braided last week. Renand's birthday was Wednesday and we went with Johny to Nadine's for a beer. Since the rainy season is starting we ended up staying there for long time waiting out the rain. Nadine told one of the hair girls to do my hair. It lasted for about three days before I had to take it out because it was killing my scalp!

Saturday was the first day in 6 WEEKS that we did not have a visitor staying with us. So I wanted to celebrate. I went to the Caribbean Market (the bourgeois grocery store) to buy some good ground meat to make meatballs. I was so excited to find other things in this store that I usually have to ask people to bring me or have packed in my suitcase. I thought I would scan the receipt so you can see that pickles really cost me over $5 US. I was telling a story to a visitor the other day about how I budget myself about $10 US for each week. So the week I need to buy the $10 bottle of laundry detergent, I'm basically stuck for the rest of the week. Otherwise $10 is enough for some juice, a diet coke when Omni has it, and some beers here and there. Two weeks ago I missed my mom and grandma more than usual so I wanted to make some tuna macaroni salad like they used to make. I went to Omni Market to buy pickles and some pasta. The pickles cost me close to $8 US. I couldn't believe how expensive they were...hence the story for the visitors. Fr. Rick was in the car with us and we were all laughing about it. But the next day he pulled me aside and said: "Robin...do you need money? All night I kept thinking about you and those pickles and my god if you can't afford pickles maybe I need to give you some money." I was totally laughing and told him that's not the reason I was telling the story and he can believe me that if I need money I will ask him. By the way, it was the best tuna salad I have had in a long time.

So here is the receipt showing the Gourds and my handwriting showing the US. The pickles here were surprisingly less expensive than Omni, and the Apricot Preserves came a close second at just over $4US. But when I make apricot-lemon bars I will be happy to have bought it. I miss Jewel and Meijer but I'm happy to have a little bit more miles on my credit card! This is the most I have spent on food here except for the $100 turkeys for Thanksgiving/Christmas.

So now I think I'm going to bed. Thanks to everyone who has sent me "pick-me-up" emails recently. I'm really feeling back to my old self.

a moment of silence for the passing of a legend....

2009-04-27T21:29:00.003-05:00

reactions to the loss of one of the comedic greats

Oh go fly a kite!

2009-04-15T18:30:00.019-05:00

The last week has been much easier than the week before. I've taken some time to allow myself to relax and just enjoy some free time. Last week for Holy Week I spent a few days in Kenscoff at the orphanage with the kids and hanging out with my friend Ruviel from Mexico who was here visiting. On Thursday night I slept in Kay Retreat and can say now that I'm glad I live in the city. Its to quiet up there and I had another bad night of sleeping while I was there. I'm not sure if it was because I ate like 6 lbs of nuts sitting while we sat around the table. My stomach was hurting so bad that I barely slept from 12:45 to 4, but never mind because I had to get up at 5:30 anyway to leave the front gate at 6. Alfonso, Maeve and I walked for about an hour down the hill into the town of Kenscoff...for those of you who remember my first walk down the mountain: this was tons easier, and I made it so much further than that first time!! Then we walked the stations of the cross around town and walked back up the mountain. Total of 5 hours straight walking. 8 months ago I would have NEVER made it, this time I only almost didn't make it! Here are some great photos from the stations of the cross:

Then Saturday Renand and Johny took me on the roof of our building to experience "monte kap" or flying kites. Its a big thing in Haiti around Holy Week to fly kites and you can buy them anywhere on the street for like $2.50 US. And everyone is flying them from the rooftops, trying to steal other people kites too or cutting the string on other peoples kites, or catching the strings of kites that have been cut!! It was so much fun. One little boy across the street from us stole our kite and we told him to come over and get the fil (string) from us so he could use it to get his kite higher too! Here's some great photos from one of my most fun days in Haiti so far:

And we have given Alina over to the house in Tabarre to start hunting their rat. We kept Sadia but she has moved downstairs so she can be closer to outside where she can hunt food for herself too. She seems to like it down there because there are a lot of people coming and going and the rat hangs out downstairs by our depot. A funny story about Sadia is that when Johny moved her downstairs he had her tied with a little skinny rope outside in the garden because he said he wanted her to know where to go to the bathroom. I was mad at first that he thought he could tie up a kitten to teach it, but then I realized his intentions were good. Now as I'm writing it I'm remembering how funny it looked when Renand and I went to find Sadia. My god, I'm writing a whole paragraph about the cat!! Here's a photo of her last nap in my room where she found the dirty sheets to snuggle in:

One of the young entrepreneurs in the orphanage asked me to try to sell some of his jewelry to any visitors. I sold the first four sets very quickly and he's given me more. I'm not having a lot of visitors in the next few week so I wanted to post photos here to see if anyone is interested. There are different shapes earrings, some bracelets and a necklace - all three in a set for $10 US and then there are the hair clips for $3 US. He wanted to sell them much cheaper but I told him he can get the amount I suggested especially because they are hand made by him from the wood or coconut shells and then written on and lacquered. For helping him, he made me a set that has my name on each piece and I love it. I love the one for my hair so I took a self portrait of it. (don't mind the dirty dish on my night stand). If you are interested, I'm coming home in June for a few weeks and can bring them with me then.

So yes, I'm coming home in June for two weeks. I'm hoping to have our annual "between birthdays breakfasts" with Karen and the girls at Davi's in Roselle like we try to do each year. I also need to meet with people at Harper or ECC about nursing school because after talking with several people about different options, I think I'll be taking some online classes this summer and fall if I can figure out the money for the classes and then hopefully start the January semester for the pre-requisites that I would need to get into the nursing classes. It should only take 1 and 1/2 years and then I can start working and then go onto higher degrees in nursing if I want to. I'm not sure if a higher degree will only land me right back into management again and if I want to do that - but only time will tell.

So the plan for now, for all of you anxious to know, is that I will be coming home December 15th at the end of the year. Start saying prayers that I can find a job, that I can figure out where to live and that I can figure out how to get a car and a bed again.

My dear friend Sherman gave me the option to come home today and his message was so funny I had to copy it here to close this post:

"and you can come home today then... you can fly into Miami and i will pick you up at the airport, and i'll take you to the beach and have a waiter bring us all the food you could ever want, and the coldest beers, and i'll get you nice n drunk and then put you on a plane to Chicago, and ur brother and Jeannie will pick you up and you can go to the ranch and midget bar, the next day your dad will pick you up with the dogs and you go to the park and have your brain tumor party ALL over again.

how does that sound? and then you can sleep for four days straight, with really cold A/C, and watch great movies, and then you will be ready to go back to Haiti"

a few random photos

2009-04-05T14:54:00.012-05:00

Aren't these two just the cutest thing? This was taken when they snuck out of the kindergarten to see what was going on when we were filming for PBS last week. Stay tuned for my big TV break....

This is Yves. He is one of the kids who loves my other brother, Johny, and calls him papa. He is a very sweet little kid.
This is the view of my building from the corner. If you can see the pink sheet hanging on the window on the 5th floor, 5 sets of windows from the left, then you can see my room. Someday I will have curtains to cover the sun instead of the random pink sheet.
This is Nick's exterminating at the end of Lamarre and Panamericane. It's how I always know where to turn to get home. they also have a very ugly little car that has a rat ears and a tail on it that makes me laugh.
Haiti is having Senatorial elections in two weeks. Below are two signs advertising candidates. The photos look more like mug shots because it wouldn't be appropriate to smile in them here. Also, the #1 in the circle represents which political party this candidate is for.
Mercedes? In Haiti? Who would want to drive this kind of car, the value would go down the first day when someone would bump into it...
Arbor Mist anyone? And really? I have yet to see this in the store. But the sign gives me hope!!!
I took some pictures on the way down from Kenscoff yesterday so show that there is some wealth here. I'm not sure how well you can see, but that is a house in the middle.
This is a shoe store. This is not like Nordstrom shoe department. But this store likely has left over shoes from Nordstrom!
Another advertisement for a political candidate. I tried to record it so you could hear how loud the music was but it didn't turn out good. THis bus was outside our building for 2 hours playing music close to the Karnaval Decibel levels, and people dressed in clown gear were handing out flyers to cars going by.

"Grace not only comes down to us, but can pull people up. Let's pull people up with grace and hope." Fr. Rick 3/25/2009

2009-03-27T17:18:00.014-05:00

I'm feeling a bit better these days and I'm glad I can sleep through the night without waking to gut-wrenching cramps.

Thanks to everyone who is writing and asking if I'm still alive. I am. There have been so many things going on:

visitors. visitors. and more visitors.
faulty internet connection
faulty inverter (stored electricity)
court cases/visits to the tribunal about murder/death threats/the unusual...
film crew making a short commercial about us (I may be a star soon)
never ending, or reducing in size, email inbox
never ending, only growing, request of projects to find money for
the stupid cats who pooped in my box of copies that took 3 month to compile so I can take to the Spanish Embassy
etc. etc. etc.

The good news is that we just had a nice visitor who made us a thank you cake today and we had a yummy time eating it. She taught me a new trick for frosting with powdered sugar!

I will possibly have the opportunity to go to Boise ID at the end of this year or beginning of next year for nursing school. Does anyone remember when I used to say "I will probably end up in some dumb state like Idaho?" Now, at the time I said this I had no knowledge of Idaho or the people who live there so please excuse my prior ignorance! I have been questioning for a few weeks now how to decide what to do after my commitment is up in Haiti. God clearly showed me when it was time to come to Haiti and I've been saying I'll just wait for Him to tell me what I should do next. Well, a wonderful group from Boise ID came last week and it seems they are very willing to help me figure out the nursing school question. If this is not God telling me, and laughing while he's doing it, then I don't know what is.

I spent a weekend this past month in Miami with my dear friend the other Robin and my brother and Sherman. Here's a few funny lines that I don't want to forget for the day when my blog is turned into my memoirs of stupid things:

"We ate raw fish." - Kevin's friend JB when we picked them up from South Beach one afternoon.
"Katherine said we have to buy you a really big beer." - MaryLou and Leo Hundt who were so gracious to take both us Robin's to the Cheesecake Factory for lunch. It is always so nice to see them.
"I can't find the Hooter's or the Walmart. Where are you? I hate Miami, I can't figure out these dumb roads - hold on I have to get the map from the car." - Kevin, calling me from a payphone when he couldn't find me at the Walmart. Payphone = funny because he has a blackberry and I didn't know payphones existed anymore. Waiting for my little brother to find me at Walmart = funny. This is us at the Chili's another night. Funny because the Chili's is in the same parking lot as the Walmart!

"Who is on the $2 Bill? Let me see that. Oh - Jefferson. What was his first name?" - Robin when I showed her my $2. "His name was George." - me in response to her. "Really?" "NO! George Jefferson is from the TV Show!!" End scene with us roaring in our seats about how funny we think we are. Consequently we could not use the $2 as planned because the Wendy's drive through we were in didn't have chocolate frosty's. We earlier had a Wendy's that had a broken Frosty machine. We settled for McDonald's Shamrock Shakes instead.

Sherman and Daniella took us to a movie at the Miami Film Festival. I just about died when I saw this. It never stops following me. When I get married, for sure I have to have the feathers in my dress somehow. Yes I said it, when I get married the peacock will be part of the ceremony...actually part of the dress.

We also saw Slum Dog Millionaire while I was in Miami and I loved it. So much that I cried and we couldn't leave right away because I was a mess. It's a combination of feeling overwhelmed by all the poverty in the movie that is parallel to the country where I live, being able to make comparisons between the street kids in that movie and some of the kids and young adults who are part of my family now, loving the freedom of having a car to go where ever I want when ever I want while I was in the US for the weekend, feeling like all we do is never enough, being pissed at the kids we have who don't appreciate what they have been given, being pissed that we don't have more to give the others, not knowing what the next step is and if it will be the right one. I had a really hard time when I got on the plane and had to hide my tears from the weirdo sitting next to me. I have been struggling a lot since I'm back but I know I'm where I need to be and I do feel better each day. When I spoke with Fr. Rick about "what my future is..." I asked him how he handles coming back each time and he told me he feels the same way and the only way he can describe it is that it is "heavy." I like this definition and it is amazing to me how much he, Gena, Alfonso and the others who have been here for so long can shoulder all the heaviness. I'm not so sure I could do it full time for life. We'll see where the nursing school options lead to. Fr. Rick is going to start a mass and medical clinic in the prison on Sunday afternoons and one of the ideas is for me to start getting some practical experience on the inmates. Great. I told him dryly, "thanks...I told you I want to nurse to care for little kids with AIDS and old people who are dying and you are going to stick me in the jail with middle age criminals?" Just a reminder that my plan is not always God's plan!! I am looking forward to spending time there with Fr. Rick and learning from him. The days are so overwhelming and there is never time to do all the work so maybe the Sunday stroll through the prison will be just what we need each week!

Gena recently traveled to Miami with 5 kids in the Kay Germaine special needs program to participate in an equestrian competition. Each week we are fortunate to be able to take some of our special needs kids to practice horse back riding (fun therapy!) What she helps provide for these children is truly amazing. Here is her email account of the weekend:

Hello!
As most of you know by now, I was recently in Florida (Wellington area) with five of the kids for the special Olympics Equestrian Event. Darlene, Xiomala, Polento were the three kids from Kenscoff and then we had Stephano and Marvens from Kay Eliane and Kay Germaine respectfully. Once again our kids did a super job. They were each in two competitions and in each competition there were usually five riders in total. Here is how they did
Darlene: Dressage : Second place -.
Poles : Third place - her bag leg came out of the stirrup and so she lost points - otherwise she was perfect
Xiomala: Dressage : Second place
Poles : First place
Polento: Dressage: Second place
Poles : First place
Consider that the commands for the dressage were in English and you can see that the kids did very very well as this did confuse them a bit! The poles was easy for them because they have been practicing weekly for this.

Stephano and Marvens were in more simple competitions and they also did very well. Little Marvens was very excited as his horse was trotting along and he was happily bobbing along too. He got 2nd place in a little obstacle competition and a third place in the dressage.
Stephano got a first in his obstacle course and a second in the dressage.

The kids were fantastic ambassadors for Haiti and they won the hearts of everyone there. Polento was a little bit un-disciplined compared to the others and we threatened to tell Caterina about him!! But really he was ok and he just needs a lot of structure so he can concentrate on what he is doing as his tendency is to get distracted easily.

I was very proud of our group - not because they did so well in the competition because that really did not matter to me. I was proud of them because they embraced this experience and everyone they met, with big smiles, big open hearts and a confidence that was inspiring to see.(Polento and Stephano said hello to EVERYONE that was n front of them -did not matter if we knew them or not!!) Nothing phased them.(on a trip to Lion Safari, Marvens commented that "the lions could jump on him and eat them if they got out!) They loved it all, they enjoyed it all and then when the time came to return home they were as happy as when they were leaving. I think these kids have the right attitude : live in the present tense, enjoy life and keep going forward.
I am very grateful to the trainers Ti Pap and Guerdes (they travelled with us), to Carmelle and Ollando who were also with us and who were fantastic with the kids. To Madame Romy, the lady who makes it possible for us to travel to the US and who takes care of us while we are there and who tells the whole horse world about the special riders from Haiti. I am grateful to Mme. Durocher(and her staff at Chateaublond) who allows us to come to her stables each week and who is so good to us. To Ferel and Mme Cienne who always do their utmost to ensure we have transport for all the kids each week.To Sociale who helped us get all the paperwork together so we could travel. And last but by no means least, to all in NPH,and all NPFS Haiti that work very hard every day to ensure that we have this great org.called NPH to do wonderful things with such wonderful children.

Next on the agenda is a trip to Germany at the end of July for one week. There is a BIG event called German Friendship and kids will be there from all over the world.I will go with two kids from Haiti - most likely Darlene and Polento! More about this when I know more about it and it is happening thanks to Mme. Romy as she is the lady with the connections in the horse world!
Will send you photos at a later date!
Love Gena

Before I close I want to say hello, in no special order, to dad, Kev, Joanne, Aunt Denise, Aunt Barb, my Sundwall family and my Schwartz Family, Michelle, Jeannie, Nicole, Jenn, Kristen, JBird, Ally Steve and Kate, Ryan, Bill and Mary Kay, Katherine, Jan, Marge (KH can you print this for her?), MaryLou and Leo, Marianne and Kristen, Sarah, Linda Zachary and Poppa Dave- I miss you all terribly these days and think of you often. And I will not name the others I want to list...I'm gonna know if you are reading the blog because you should respond when I don't mention you by name LOS girls!

*** I didn't proof before I posted because I'm tired AND lazy so please excuse any errors in typing!***

We have a cat. I have an intestinal infection. The two are not related.

2009-03-06T20:01:00.014-05:00

Hi all. I have lots to share - most of it is information written by other people, but since I have been sick I'm going to plaguarize and take the easy way out. It's taken me close to five days to post this because i've been trying to cut and paste Fr. Rick and Gena's reflections about Onel and Mario but I can't get it to work. If you are interested send me and email and I'll forward them to you.

First Here is an email exchange between my friend Katherine and I which goes in reverse so you will read the most recent first:

Robin,

This e-mail was not the way to begin my day. I am so sorry for all of the children and staff. What an incredible situation to have to be able to deal with especially since it is all family. You know mentally you are just doing a job, however, everything at NPH becomes your life!!! Your family, your brothers and sisters from every country. I heard last night about the boy who died in Honduras last week. I was heartsick and don't know the young boy or the country director.

You have a heart as big as all of Haiti. You are so where you need to be because you can truly help everyone in this matter and any others that come along. My only regret is that we cannot be together to help one another through things like this, I would even give you a really big HUG!!!!!!

My prayers and thoughts are with you. Now more so than ever. Fr. Rick's presence has to be a big help as well.

On another subject, everyone raves about your blog and how beautifully written it is!!!! Thanks for the accolades but I don't come close. If you want to use any of my updates, they are definitely not copyrighted.

Sorry I did not make the trip today. Kieran told me I could sit in back of the pick-up. Dr. Chris went. She only has a few weeks left and then she's moving back to the states.

Please, please, please have a better day today!!!!

Sueno con los angelitos!!!!!!

Katherine

On Mon, Mar 2, 2009 at 2:17 PM, Robin Schwartz <robbi7576@gmail.com> wrote:

Katherine,i loved reading your haiti diary and I was smiling all the way up to the end when you say you are happy to call me your friend and then i started crying. I have so much respect for you that I always, always think I am the one lucky to call you my friend. I was thinking to myself the whole time I was reading that you are good at what you do for NPH because your memory and way of expressing it is so great - much better than mine. you remembered things that you saw and heard just after hearing them one time - it's taken me 5 months to remember most of these things! Can I put your reflections and this email on my blog today?

I think i'm crying too because this was a very hard weekend for us and especially for me. I'm not sure if you know that one of our kids died because he was stabbed by another one of our kids here in Petionville. Even though I have been here for hurricane relief, been to the morgue and saw what happened when the school collapsed, this was harder. I think it is because this was so much more personal. It was our own kids, two young people in our family, two boys that grew up with people I now call my brothers. I feel so saddened and broken hearted by the whole thing, I keep thinking about Mario and how he looked when he was put into the jail cell, I keep thinking about Onel and how he looked when we went to the clinic to have the report made about his body. I keep thinking these boys struggle so much for survival that they hurt their brother because of a fight that started over food. It makes me sad about what the future will bring for other kids of ours here, it makes me wonder how we respond, it makes me wonder what will change and does it matter if things change? if we change something there will always be something else that comes up that we thought we were addressing. I know Fr. Rick wants to talk to me again about staying longer and I have been thinking about how to organize my thoughts for that conversation.

Yesterday was the first day that I sat on my floor in my room and cried. and cried. and cried. I didn't sleep good because I kept thinking about some of the kids here being mad that one brother would kill another brother and then all the accusations that fly around and all the things people say in the heat of the moment. Then I woke up and felt like crap and just couldn't get a handle on the day. Today Norma, another volunteer, asked me if I feel like I want to go home and I caught myself by surprise when I said, No, and i realized I'm still where I need to be, but yesterday was hard.

I'm glad we had the time together that we did but I wished for more. I promise next time you are in the DR I will come to visit you!! I copied other people on this just so they can know what I shared with you too because I'm too lazy to write it again. :)

miss you more and love you tons,
Robin

On Mar 2, 2009, at 8:30 AM, Katherine Harig wrote:

Robin,

I cannot thank you enough for the fabulous time in Haiti. I will always remember every minute of it. Just a heads us I believe you have a DR group coming this week. It keeps growing every time I hear about it. Dr. Chris , Ken from Canada (the great group leader - the patience of JOB), and Kieran. I am assuming that the pick up is not that big for such a long rideso some will be cut back. Who knows but since you are the visitor coordinator I thought I would let you know

Take care,

I miss you,

Kath

Below is Katherine's update to her family that includes her trip to Haiti. She wrote about things that I probably should have written about a long time ago!

Friday I left for the first adventure outside of NPH. My friend, Robin, has been volunteering in NPH Haiti so I took a bus ride to see her. James, a visitor from Detroit with all of his Obama campaign shirts and buttons, Roselinde, a 30 year old Haitian from our NPH home, myself and a Columbian nun all took off for our bus ride. In true NPH fashion someone stops us before we leave and says, “Hey can you take three extra suitcases?” The next thing you know we have 3 suitcases and 8 large unmarked not well secured boxes in the back of the pick-up. We arrived in Santo Domingo and went to pay for our ticket. They need to see your passport for the purchase and then they keep it. (HELLO!!!!!!!) You don’t see it again until you clear customs in Haiti. (What an uncomfortable feeling!!!!!!) Then they say you can only take two bags per person (duh!) so we leave three boxes with Domingo to return to the home. Fabulous comfortable bus! Within minutes after leaving the station they give you a large plastic container of beans, rice, chicken and salad! I guess they don’t want you to forget their native food since you are leaving the country. What a beautiful ride through the Dominican countryside. Rolling hills, mountains, rice paddies, sugar cane, small tiny communities, chickens for sale and beautiful blue skies with a background of island music on the bus made the ride very enjoyable. There was also the constant talk of people riding to see family for Carnivale in Haiti.

Then we came to the border! Words cannot describe either side. They call your name for your passport on the DR side. You get your passport and go into this rundown building. You get in a line and then they take the passport away from you again. The Columbian sister got questioned at length which took extra time. Then you get back on the bus and they open this rusty old little gate that has a padlock chain on it. You truly enter another world!!!!!! Immediately you see what I guess you call some form of shanties with people selling anything they can. Dust and dirt, diesel spewing out everywhere! Then you get to the customs for Haiti. This makes the DR building look like the Taj Mahal! A lady with a baby gets off our bus (for whatever reason) and she is now yelling at me and pointing. No clue what she could be saying since the windows don’t allow sound to penetrate. Roselinde gets off the bus and tries to find out what is going on. I am sure you have guessed by now that customs will not allow our boxes. So the lady with the baby decides that I need to get off the bus since I have the NPH logo on my shirt. The next thing you know the bus leaves and goes through the chain link into Haiti, Roselinde goes into the customs run down building, I am talking (yeah right it seems my Creole is not what it used to be) to the Haitian police while the UN troops go driving by in their jeep. Children are trying to shine your shoes, men are trying to exchange any form of US, DR or Haitian currencies, cab drivers are looking for customers and 6 languages are all going at once (none of which is English). James and Sister end up on the Haiti side of the chain and say ha ha we are in and you are not (The joke is on them since they don’t have their passports). I am with the customs agents marking our boxes with NPH while they are being locked up in a dilapitated container never to be seen again (Someone drove over a few days later and rescued them). Roselinde appears with all of our passports and we get back on the bus. Once on board I realized that no one in the immigration office in Haiti even saw our faces with our passports. No visas, just a stamp!!!

We drove along a beautiful lake and within a few minutes there is a 20 something male with no clothes either bathing or fishing. I was so glad that sister was on the other side of the bus. Welcome to Haiti! Then the small settlements began to appear outside of our windows. I have always said that everyone needs to take the 4K road between the highway and NPH El Salvador at least one time in their life to appreciate their own incredible fortune. That stretch of road looks like Oak Street in Chicago compared to Haiti. Robin met us in Petionville and we walked ten minutes to the FR Wasson center. Robin is my hero in more ways than one. Every bit of her professionalism, organization skills, hospitality, great smile and compassion are being used in Haiti. We had little cute notes on our door welcoming us, along with freshly made beds and great towels.

We went out for a fish dinner two blocks away from our rooms. The fish was grilled and you order by size of the whole fish. I had no idea that the best part of the fish are the eye balls!! Not one remained on our eight plates by the end of dinner. Only James was brave enough from our group. I did get to drink a Guinness that night. The local beer is Prestige and it is a very good Pilsner.

There is so much to write about the next 4 days that I will try to highlight the important things.

There is no real water source in all of Haiti. Children, men and women take any kind of plastic container on their heads to a local water source. Needless to say they do not have sewer systems and the raw sewage is easy to see and smell. You never walk in anything that looks like water. St. Luc takes water down to Cite Soleil (the poorest community in the Western Hemisphere) five times per day. Water is so scarce you need to save your shower water for the toilet, electricity even more so but the INTERNET works beautifully!!!!!!!!
People cut out cardboard for the insoles of their shoes.
Rode on the back of a pick-up through Cite Soleil. Two people wore Obama shirts and we had his face on a tongue depressor in the window. We were driving on streets that we were only allowed access because we were in an NPH Fr. Rick pick-up. People were constantly looking for Fr. Rick, or shouting OBAMA!!!!, UN soldiers would drive by in full military uniforms and weapons, and the air was thick with dust and diesel. I wore a white NPH shirt and at one point wiped my face on my sleeve and it was totally black. The work that Fr. Rick is doing through his outreach is incredible in such a densely populated hot area in the city of Port AuPrince. He has schools with teachers who are former NPH children, travelling clinics and the water delivery. You had no time to be afraid because you were in such awe that people have so little in life.
With no employment people are on the sides of streets everywhere trying to sell anything. The latest fashion rage in Haiti and Africa is called “Dead White Man’s Clothes”. All of those donations to GoodWill, etc that are bundled and sent to these countries. A lot of St. Bernadette, Loyola, St. Mary’s clothing on the streets as well. I saw two beautiful young women who should have been models, holding two burros selling charcoal. They were covered from head to toe with charcoal. Women sit on the streets with their charcoal in large containers. Live goats for sale (not skinned hanging from their throats with a hook in the hot sun like in the DR), gutted pigs being carried by men, chopped slabs of meat with flies all over it, chickens of all sizes for sale and roosters for fighting.
The ride to the NPH home is one hour on the most incredibly bumpy road (and I use the word loosely) up the mountain. Once you arrive you can see forever, the pine trees are beautiful, it is really cold (sweatshirts, stocking hats and winter coats). Stayed in the retreat house which is on the side of the mountain overlooking other mountains and rolling hills below. Sitting on the porch area, it seems like you are at the end of the world. Sunset and sunrise was gorgeous!! A small group of people live below walking up the small path every day for water, etc. Saturday night they had a bonfire in the houses below, no electricity-pitch black, and all you could hear were voodoo drums and singing drifting up through the trees.
Sunday morning the director of the home invited us over at 10:30 a.m. For hospitality we sat down to a large coke in the bottle, a large bag of cheese puffs and a stick of gum for each person.
435 children live at NPH Haiti. They are beautiful, have incredible voices, loved dancing for Carnivale all night, play basketball and soccer, and have the best special needs house I have seen at NPH. 32 children with 40 tias to care for them. Plus an outreach day program in the city.
Favorite quotes: One boy came up to me and said “You have my money!”. Two boys came up to me while I was watching basketball and told me that I could not be alone. No one is allowed to be alone at NPH. When asked “ Can you swim?” the response back was “like a chicken” from a friend of Robin’s.
Fr Rick’s hospital (St. Damien’s) in Tabarre has people with their sick children line up every morning by 6:30 a.m. Only 110 are allowed in to be seen every day. Since there is very little literacy all of the rooms are marked with wooden things (fish, crabs, flowers) so the people know where to go. Every day 2-5 children might die in the hospital. We saw one little wrapped body in the morgue. Death is everywhere in Haiti. The former pequenos have a business making paper mache coffins, rosaries, crosses to mark the graves and a prayer sheet. On some Thursdays, Robin goes with Fr. Rick to the public morgue and gets as many bodies as they can to give a respectful burial to in our cemetery. All of this is overwhelming but the part that touched me the most was the Tap-Tap Room. (Tap-taps are colorful buses in Haiti). This room is for the children who have been abandoned by their parents. They have to remain for a certain length of time and then the State places them somewhere. Not at NPH! To see these babies and this little 4 year old taking a nap just tore me apart. Fr. Rick is building a high school on the property now and they will bring in NPH and Cite Soleil children to play soccer. The hope is they will see the incredible high school and it will be the motivation that they need to try to extend their education. Also, his AIDS clinic is funded partly by President Bush’s program and according to the charts about 2500 children are tested every month and 50 approximately are diagnosed.
Carnivale. Enough said!!! They build beautiful stands for the rich and millions go through the streets. I would not go to the actual event. Too dangerous. However, the crowds that were coming home between 1:00 – 3:30 a.m. on our street were unbelievably loud, wound up, pounding on the gates, yelling, etc. I do not want to experience that again. It was like waves and waves of mob mentality.
Creole is a language that was made by combining French, Spanish, English and African languages together so that the slave owners did not know what they were saying. Creole in New Orleans came about the same way as it did in Jamaica, however, the Creoles are not the same. It is the official language of Haiti but in school they are all taught in French along with their textbooks.

From voodoo drums and chanting plus Carnivale to three girls 10-14 leading a beautiful prayer service at NPH;great fish dinner and pizza/beer to the malnourished section of St. Damien’s hospital; the history of Fort Jacque and the site of the rich homes surrounding it on the mountain all made for an incredible adventure. Haiti is a place that will lure me back and has given me such a respect for my friend Robin and her mission with Fr.Rick. What a privilege to call her MY FRIEND.

Also, we got a kitten who hopefully will grow into a big cat and eat the rat that is sneaking into my depot!

Isn't she cute. She has three names: Mimi, Ti Chat and Alina - we can't agree here...just like a normal family!

Also, I have an intestinal infection. It's not pretty. I've been taking meds for it the last two days and I feel much better now but I think the pain had to be worse than childbirth...otherwise I don't think anyone would ever have a second baby. I'm not sure where it came from but there a couple possibilities: 1. the food I ate on the street in Port au Prince the night Onel died. 2. the food I ate on the street in Delmas the night our cook made the one thing I will not eat here so I "ordered out!" 3. The water reserve was have in our basement could have had one round of contaminated water (not that uncommon) 4. It could be from when I was knee deep in dirty water at the airport on Monday night in the middle of monsoon waiting for 4 hours in and out of the car for the flight to land with our visitor. and in the end after delay delay and delay in the air, they sent the plane back to miami. Meanwhile, I lost my shoes to the crazy current in the airport parking lot/lake and while I was trying to get to the door in the rising water I saw the left overs of someone's dinner floating by my leg in the styrofoam container so I can only imagine what other crap soaked into my skin. gross. very funny as it was happening because it was like a scene from a bad movie...but gross.

The Death of Onel Onas

2009-03-01T07:18:00.003-05:00

Onel came to NPFS as a little baby about 20 years ago. He has had a difficult time making good decisions but as of late he seemed to be changing his ways. Fr. Rick, Gena, Alfonso and Ferel have had much patience with him and gave him many chances. Fr. Rick says he was looking better, taking better care of himself and his behavior had been improving. He had a job with Fr. Rick making the rosaries for the caskets for the unnamed dead that we bury each Thursday from the general hospital, and Gena had helped him start a small barber shop business so he could do another thing he was good at - cutting hair. He would come to the Father Wasson Center to cut the hair of the guys here and he was going up to Kenscoff to cut the hair of the children in Kay Christine too.

The story how I understand it goes like this: Onel is an ex-pequeno and rented an apartment for himself. Sometimes he did not have enough money for food and would go to the houses where some of our extern kids live to get food. Yesterday Onel went over to one of these houses and told them to give him food, one of the boys did and another boy Mario later told this boy not to give Onel food anymore because the food is supposed to be for the boys that live in the house. Onel found out what Mario said and went back to the house to beat him up. While they were in the scuffle, Mario pulled out a knife from his bag and stabbed Onel. He did not survive after being rushed to the hospital. We had to bring Mario to the commissariat (police) and he is now sitting in jail until at least Tuesday when he can see a lawyer. We will have a funeral when Fr. Rick returns and Onel will be buried in our cemetery in the orphanage because he did not have other family.

Kids can be mean, kids can be bullies, kids can try to stand up for themselves, kids can try to protect what is theirs inside their homes, and someone dies?

Over food?

i dropped my laptop on the tile floor this morning

2009-02-22T13:12:00.017-05:00

But God gave me good angels today because it seems to be fine. What an idiot! I haven't even paid for it yet. But the good news is that it seems to be a very sturdy computer.

It's been a while, again, and I have so much to share. I have randomly added the photos and photo links so it's not in order but it will have to do for today!

For a girl who said she would not eat fish while she was in Haiti, I'm sure eating a lot of fish. This is our plate from Friday night. My great great friend Katherine came to visit me from the Dominican Republic where she is volunteering right now. She came with some others from the DR and we all went out for dinner together.

Thursday and Friday our kids celebrated Karnaval, both in Kenscoff and in Tabarre at Kay Germaine. The first photo is on little girl in the special needs program in Tabarre - isn't she the cutest little thing? And such a good dancer! The second one is two girls in Kenscoff at the orphanage who were all dolled up with face paint. At the orphanage, the school invited 5000 other kids from neighboring schools to join in the fun. For the rest of the photos that my awesome assistant Joseph took click here. I love these two photos.
This photo is from the play the Lion King that Johny, Sr. Lorraine, Zoe and I went to see a few weeks ago. It is an American school and I met a woman who works there and invited us to see the play. It was awesome. They used a combination of music from the movie and current dance music in Haiti. Here is a photo to show how beautiful the costumes were.

I have spent a lot of time going back and forth to the airport lately picking people up and dropping them off. It has also been a good learning experience for me because there have been many roadblocks by the UN and I've had to learn some of the side and back roads. I found it interesting to see one of the UN soldiers doing his afternoon prayers on top of the truck while they were just sitting there watching the road block that was up for no reason.

This is a typical photo of something I see on the side of the road. It's a young man who is working either his own business or his family business and studying when no one is there to buy from him. School is very important here in Haiti and it costs money, it's not a right that is available to everyone. Many people do not finish their secondary school until well into their 20s because they have to pay as they go.
Joseph took this photo coming down from Kenscoff the other day and I absolutely love it. I'm trying to find somewhere that we can enter it in a competition. If anyone has an idea please share! Look at the loads on their heads. Can you say backache? Dedication?
On Friday I drove us to Tabarre for the Karnaval party and thought I hit a dog on the way. It was a disaster because I slammed on the breaks because I thought the dog was under the truck and I didn't want to run it over or drag it underneath. Turned out the dog just ran out the right side just like it had run in the left side. When I was told to keep going, I tried to explain that I didn't know if the dog was still under the car or not because I can't tell where the sounds are coming from. I'm glad Friday is over.

Maeve left yesterday to go home for one month. She completed her first volunteer year and now has 1 month break before coming back for her next year. I will really miss her while she is gone. Caterina is also going home this week. She comes for three months at a time and I have so much fun with her. Here is the link to photos from the party they threw in Kay Retreat in Kenscoff: Maeve and Caterina going away party

Tuesday and Wednesday me and 5 others went to Jacmel for some training on making movies and videos for the hospital and orphanage. Karnaval was huge the weekend before and it was like ghost town when we were there. It was so interesting and we learned so much. We wrote a synopsis, developed a script, shot it and edited it. Here's the link for those photos: Jacmel We had a nice time walking around the town and it reminds me so much of New Orleans. At the end of the this blog is the final project. I look like a pig with a crooked face - but it was still fun!

And finally here are some more photos that I don't think I've shared yet. Some are linked to my personal picassa and some are linked to the work picassa so make sure you click each link so you don't miss any if you are interested.

Port Au Prince Market

Cite Soleil Movie Night

Jesus Mission

2009-02-16T09:15:00.005-05:00

I have the coolest story from yesterday morning for you. Renand decided he wanted to go to church because we were not going up to the orphanage for mass because Fr. Rick is out of town. He left after 10 when the service started so by the time he got to St. Pierre it was over, so he decided he would go Altagrace instead but that service was over too by the time he got there. He headed toward Delmas and called his brother to see if he wanted to go to St. Patrick but his brother said it was over. So he started home and saw two men who were dragging a woman down the road by her wrists and she was screaming to let her go so he followed them with the truck and tried to get them to let her go. Finally he was able to stop them, the women kept hugging him because she was so grateful, the other people who were running after them started to beat the two guys up and then the police came and took them away for kidnapping. There are many things Renand and I spoke of about this story.

1. He totally saved a lady's life today

2. There was a reason he started for church late and kept trying to find one he could go to - it was his mission from Jesus for the day.

3. Kidnappings rarely happens to foreigners in Haiti, they happen to Haitians whose families could probably get the money together to pay the ransom and since it's karnaval time now people need money to go. Isn't that sad? It's a way to make money to go to a super dangerous, yes fun, but dangerous party where people are hurt and some get killed.

So it was a good day to celebrate Jesus missions!

list of 40 things

2009-02-11T21:39:00.008-05:00

I bet you thought I was making a list for the blog of 40 things...WRONG! That is my list of things to do and today I got through 12 and only added 3 - not to bad.

I'm still trying to catch up on emails, figure out how to get the printer to work with my new computer, schedule activities for Joseph and me and still try to find time each day to read a little bit more of my book.

Harriett's husband Peter and their daughter Zoe took Renand, me and Johny to dinner at the nice fish place down the road. I know I said I would never eat fish here and now I've done it twice, but i made it throw the day today so I think I'm alright and don't have any food poisoning. Here are some pictures from last night's feast.

The rest of the fish was our breakfast this morning al

ong with yesterday rice. Funny thing that here left overs are actually called "yesterday." Creole does not use the word yesterday for "yesterday" but uses this word for the leftovers from yesterday. I think this is pretty interesting!

For all my family and friends who haven't had a response from me on email please be patient because it's on my list of things to do to get back to you. I also think that some of the emails I've sent over the last month never made it where they were supposed to go because of the virus. I promise to catch up by the weekend :)

Congratulations...your new baby is a MacBook. I think I'll name her cheddar.

2009-02-08T20:34:00.008-05:00

My new MacBook arrived yesterday afternoon on a plane with Peter and I was so excited to get it this morning. Harriet was so wonderful to give me a guided tour of the basics I need to know to get started. I have spent a lot of today trying to read tutorials online. I would love to spend the rest of the night doing the same...but tonight is another Carnaval party in the street. It's so loud already and it's only 8:30.

I had a great week this past with with the group of Spanish visitors and with Harriet and Zoe. Here's a couple things we did:

Visited the Street Schools in Cite Soleil and Wharf Jeremy. It was my first time visiting the street schools and I was so impressed with how well run they are, how wonderful the teachers are and how eager to learn the students are.
Went to see the night movie in Cite Soleil. This was by far one of the coolest things I have done lately. Dimi and Rafael show a movie in Cite Soleil almost every night. The night we went was Save the Last Dance (one of the best saturday and sunday TBS or TNT movies ever - MISS YOU ALYSSA AND KAREN!). They have a projector, a screen, and a sound system and tons of people show up for it. We took lots of pictures of the kids and one little girl in particular who Renand and I thought was so cute. Notice her belly button is huge. This is a good testimony of the lack of prenatal and child birth care that is available in the slums. This is actually quite common and I understand that when the baby's are born the umbilical cords are either not cut in a sanitary way or get infected, hence the large protruding belly button. She is so cute and was so excited to have her picture taken over and over again. Here is another couple pictures of Johny, Renand and me that were taken by some of the little kids. Not too bad considering I don't think these kids have every taken a photo before. Even if they did only get Renand's eyeball!

The group from Spain wanted to go to a market to buy some things so we took them to the main market in Port au Prince. I will hopefully never go again. I'm discovering that as I get older I'm not really into crowds. Or perhaps I'm getting more claustrophobic because the places I've gone are more cramped and crowded. The market was so dirty and the part that bothered me the most was seeing a woman eat right next to where a dog was emptying his tank. I'm getting much better at Creole now because I'm not as afraid to talk to people in public and they seem to understand! It was helpful in the market to tell people I don't want any.
Made another trip to the morgue and the cemetery. Each time I've gone I find that I am especially impressed with one person. This time I can't say enough wonderful things about everyone from the Spanish group, especially Lola. Each one of them helped at the morgue and then helped to bury the coffins at the cemetery. The women were especially strong and only shed tears at the service at the cemetery. I think all of us recognized what the team was doing because some of the St. Luc guys said to me "robin I have to walk away or these women are going to make me cry." It was so touching I know I'm not able to do it justice in this writing.

"I know the cause of my headache and ibuprofen doesn't get rid of a person." Anonymous in Administration 1/21/09

2009-01-25T12:05:00.011-05:00

The quote of this blog is one of my favorites since I arrived. The person who said it is the nicest person anyone could ask for to work with: always happy, always willing to help out and always smiling. On Thursday I could tell something was wrong and when he told me he had a headache I offered to give him some ibuprofen and the title of this post was his response. I can relate to that statement and it made me laugh so hard.

The blog has been quiet recently because the past week has been very boring. My assistant, Joseph, and I spent almost the whole week sorting spreadsheets, searching for over 200 checks and supporting paperwok, and then copying them. This is necessary for the Spanish government because they want to see that we spent the money on what they gave us the money for. Next I will go to the Spanish Embassy and get the copies stamped. My back hurt a lot for being so sendentary at the copier this week. But the good news is that I got almost half way through last season's box set of Grey's Anatomy while i was sitting there making copies!

Saturday was the 22nd Anniversary of Nos Petits Freres et Soeurs here in Haiti and we had a big party up at the orphanage. There was a program with dancing and singing, as always! And we have mass, as always! And then there was food for the children in the extern program and for those who grew up in the orphanage and came back to celebrate with us. Click here to see the all the photos and hold out for the end because I think the little kids are the cutest ones so far. I put a couple below for you to see some of my favorites! And if you are interested in the article I wrote for it you can click here and look for the Haiti page but it will probably not be posted until Friday or Saturday.
She is just the cutest thing with her candy.

Renand and Gabby are adorable in this photo of Gabby sleeping.

This is our littlest band member, Wadner. He plays those drums!

There was a lot of relaxing going on that day!!!

I spent the day on Monday at the hospital because we have two wonderful volunteers, Harriet and Zoe, with us for two weeks who will be working on video and photo projects at the orphanage and the hospital. Harriet is working with Patrick to shoot video at the hospital. I love talking with her because she is a documentary film maker and asks such amazing questions. In two weeks Patrick, me, Joseph, Jimmy, Eddy, and John will travel to Jacmel to learn about editing and film production with a great company called Festival Film Jakmel that Paul Haggis put us in touch with. I never in a million years thought I would learn this while I'm in Haiti. Definitely good for my resume!

I haven't received a lot of questions lately so I took a piece of paper with me in my pocket for the last two days and took little notes of things I thought might be interesting. I'm going to do these in bullet point because I haven't busted out the bullets in a long time - maybe that wasn't the right choice of words given that I live right outside of Port au Prince but rest assured I have not messed with any guns and do not have any intention of such!

I went with Caterina to Food Max to buy some stuff for our cook for lunch the next day. It had been awhile since I fell down. The good news is that I didn't fall all the way down on my knees or arms this time but I did trip over my own feet and managed to cut the tops of my toes and the top of my foot. I still can't figure out how I cut my feet in this manner but didn't fall all the way down. Usually I wear tennis shoes when we go for a walk so maybe it was the flip-flops that did me in. Anyway, let's hope another couple weeks go by before I take another tumble.
During our walk I noticed two distinct things and I guess I notice these things each time I walk to the store but never remember to write about them. There is always the distinct smell of urine right after someone pees on the street and everytime I go to the market I think someone must have known I would be coming and intentionally ran into the street to pee. But in reality I know that people pee in the street because they can. The second thing was that there was poop on the ground. Not dog poop. Same reason, because people know they can. Enough said about that.
Joseph and I took employee transport over the the hospital yesterday and we road in the back of one of our tap-taps. Usually I take one of the vans and now I remember why. A large portion of the 40 minute ride I could see the dust from the roads just hovering in front of my face which meant it was getting into my hair, on my face, in my nose, in my clothes. I don't usually mind riding in the back, in fact I usually love it, but today it was first thing in the morning right after I had washed my hair. gross.
I tried to buy an avocado from a woman in the street and she tried to sell it to me for twice the price, because I am a white foreigner. Good thing Joseph was with me because when she told us the price and I said forget it and started to walk away she negotiated with him and I bought two avacados for 3o Gds which is about $.75.
The same thing happened after I fell in the street and wanted to buy some tangerines and bananas. Good thing Julien was with me this time because it helped me not to get as ripped off. I know I paid more than I should have but it was still way less than I would have paid for 12 tangerines and 6 bananas in the States. And this is the way these people make their money to feed their families.
While we were walking back from Food Max there was the cutest little girl in her crisp school uniform and her bleach white hair ribbons who was trying to get me to buy a glossy paper bag. She had about 40 of them hanging on her arm and she kept trying to push it into my hand. It looked like the bag that the clinique lady puts your face wash into when you buy from her at Macy's. These bags must have come in on some truck or container and the girls family probably told her to go out and sell them for some money. It's just nothing like being in Kansas anymore. If I had any need, if I had any extra money to spend, I would have bought all 40 bags from her.
I saw a guy without an ear yesterday. I think he must have been burned and the ear melted off because there was just a hole where the base of the ear would have been. I thought how sad for that man, wonder if he can hear out of that ear and if not that must be really difficult. Then I realized what an idiot I am because I cannot hear out of one of my ears, but at least I still have the ear.

The last thing I want to write about is going to the St. Luc Medical Clinic in Wharf Jeremy with Guiseppe yesterday. He's the surgeon from Italy who is getting the hospital surgery center up and running. He is a wonderful man, we don't speak much of the same languages but we get along just find anyway and he is very funny. So each Tuesday he goes to the clinic to see patients who may need surgeries. The clinic is in a stone building right as you drive into the slum. Guiseppe has one room and another doctor has the second room. I went because Joseph and I needed to get some photos of Guiseppe in action for one of the fundraising offices. I told him that I was excited to be there because I think I want to go to medical school or nursing school. The cool thing happened because Guiseppe started showing me what he was looking for with patients! He explained to me how to listen to the lungs and what to listen for and how to feel the liver and what was wrong with one patient. It was the coolest thing ever and I wrote about it on the hospital blog and I have links to the photo story as well. Now I have to go back to mama Jean Paradis and ask her for the information about one medical school she was telling me about when she was here. It was a really good day for me. I didn't get much done that I needed to do but I sure felt like I had another bump into the right direction!

Drinking and Driving...but not in that order

2009-01-17T21:36:00.007-05:00

This week has been one of the best weeks because I finally got to drive! Tuesday Renand and I had to take Juliette to the airport and then go to Tabarre to get some signatures so on the way from the airport to the hospital Renand pulled over and told me to drive. It was so fun and I actually surprised myself that I did ok with the stick. At home I always got so nervous on inclines that I would roll backward and hit something or someone, and especially here I was worried because there are so many hills. But I did great. And that was the talk of the evening, everyone saying "oh she is a good driver, she doesn't need to make any more practice because she already knows!" I also drove Fr. Rick into Wharf Jeremy to the clinic after we stopped at the hospital so I think if I can drive through Port au Prince to the slums and back home through the most crowded streets that I will be fine any other time I need to drive.

Last Sunday when we went up to the orphanage for mass with the Nuncio (for those of you Lutherans, the Nuncio is the Pope's Ambassador), we spent the afternoon hanging out with the kids and dancing, playing soccer and taking pictures. I also saw some of the girls and the knit blankets they are making.

We had quite an interesting week because I found out that we are going to be learning how to make our own movies, for educational videos, fundraising, interviews, etc. A group of friends of Paul Haggis, from Hollywood, have a school in Jacmel and we will be getting lessons from them which means I'll need to be making some trips to Jacmel - it's supposed to be beautiful so I'm looking forward to that.

On Thursday I had planned on hiding out at the hospital in the kitchen and being on my computer all day. I find that lately I feel like I am always so busy doing something but never getting anything tangible accomplished. I do not like this feeling because it's how I felt at home with my job. But here I keep reminding myself that not everything I do is measurable and I need to relax. So anyway, it was Thursday, the day for the morgue. And Pilar was visiting us from NPH and she wanted to go so I said I would go too. The morgue was a little better than the last time - but I couldn't be as involved because I was wearing flip flops. I am more adventurous these days but not stupid enough to hang out in the morgue with open toed shoes.

Last night Renand, Johny and I went to the bar that Nadine, the sponsorship coordinator, and her husband Franz own. It's just like hanging out at someone's house on the porch and it was really fun because Karnaval is coming up in the next few weeks so the music in the neighborhoods is getting louder and more festive as the days go on. There was a boy who Renand told me has been asking for me ever since the last time we went there. I got him to dance with me and we took lots of pictures - to see them click here.

Last night I made a spaghetti, cheese and tomatoe bake and it was delicious. I like the creole sauces we have almost every day but I love spaghetti especially with a lot of cheese! I also made some more cookies and this time they were not only chocolate chip but also oatmeal cookies too and they are delicious! I made scrambled eggs and pancakes for us for breakfast this morning and unfortunately I put too much baking soda but at least I know how to make pancakes from scratch now. Here's an update photo of our kitchen:

Today I am having a most delightful time sorting through spreadsheets of check numbers looking for what I need to make copies of. Fun stuff.

Thanks to everyone who has sent me info about bed bugs...gross. Unfortunately we don't have things like a big plastic bag, a vacuum, or a dustbuster. I don't think I have them anymore actually. I think it might be something I caught from one of the kids. I've been putting cream on it and it seems to be going away. Too much information for you I'm sure.

Now after repeated changes in plans I am finally going to go up to Kenscoff in about 20 minutes so I have to get my stuff ready. This is the way it is here, make plan, change it, alter it again, change it a little bit more, and finally end up with the original plan that you made. If I wasn't in such a good mood today I would be highly annoyed!

The Best $12 Haircut

2009-01-10T11:08:00.009-05:00

I am so happy that Jean Paradis is in Haiti visiting us this week because I have had the pleasure of spending lots of quality time with her! We did the Haitian equivalent of window shopping for cookie sheets for baking cookies and we also went to the Beauty Salon to get my hair cut and for Jean to have a facial!!!! My brother Johny took us to the Salon and stayed with us. Here are some photos from our adventure:

Classic Crooked Smile

Me and my Haitian Brother JohnyJean!

and a Green Jean!

Last night the party was hopping at Harry's Bar next door and I could barely sleep. Also there is this crazy huge advertisement TV that was put on top of the restaurant two blocks away that is constantly blinking in my room like a strobe light because I do not have curtains yet. I tried to capture the obnoxiousness of it but this photo does not do it justice. I also had a hard time sleeping because I think I may have bed bugs. I have the bites to prove it and I'm not sure what to do about them. All the solutions on WebMD are not things that are possible or reasonable for me to do here to solve the problem. I'm hoping that maybe it's just the bad mosquitos but I'm not sure. I have to ask Fr. Rick.

I am in charge of everything for volunteers here and one of my responsiblities is to make sure we have enough food, which means I order the monthly dry food from purchasing and then I go to the market and buy the bread eggs, cheese when we need it. The purchasing department was really far behind this month because of the holidays and also the issues we have been having with fuel. The government is saying to sell the gas for cheaper now but the gas stations don't want to sell if for cheaper. So my cook asked me everyday if she can buy rice and I have to tell her that we are going to have pasta again. Pasta everyday does not help me to get more skinny. But I love it just the same. My new found love of baking also doesn't help me to get skinnier. Jean, awesome as ever, bought us more things to make delicious desserts here in Kay Pere Wasson.

Today Renand and Alfonso are coming back from Mexico and Johny and I will go pick them up from the airport this afternoon. There is a slight chance that I might get to drive to the airport!! I'll let you know in the next post.

"Just tell everyone I am your black brother." - Johny Numa-Marc 1/4/2009

2009-01-04T20:06:00.009-05:00

Happy New Year! New layout for the blog because I figured I would start with a fresh look for a fresh year.

New Year's was really nice here. I went up to Kenscoff with Fr. Rick, Patrick, Prosper, my surrogate father Claude, and Johny. We had mass with the kids and then we went to a little party at Ferel's house. We left before midnight and when we got back Johny, Dieune and I had a beer on our roof and watched the fireworkds all around the city. I will not get to see them for the 4th this year so I appreciated every second of them! A monbo (female voodoo priestess) had called Fr. Rick earlier in the day to tell him that she sent 7 devils after him because someone paid her to do it. It was funny that we were 6 in the truck with him otherwise he may have become suspicious! Nothing happened of course, he is fine. But I did start looking up more on voodoo and found some interesting links here and here. Yes I have an unheathly obsession with Wikipedia. It's interesting to me to see how many Haitians believe both their Catholicism and Voodoo because Voodoo is not really a religion to most people here, it's part of the culture. Most of the people who work for NPFS believe in it. I laughed at Johny and Prosper when they told me that some voodoo priests can turn people into cows and that we have to be careful which meat we buy at the open-air market because apparently you can tell which cows used to be people because you "just can tell." When I asked Fr. Rick how he deals with these things our conversation went like this:

Me: Father you don't seriously believe people can turn into cows and that 7 devils are on their way to get you, do you? Don't you think your Jesus bubble is big enough to fend them off?

Fr. Rick: Let me tell you something that a priest who had been in Haiti 40 years shared with me...Just because you don't believe it, don't mean it's not real.

Me: oh, once again I'm an idiot.

Fr. Rick: No you are not! Let me give you some examples of things that have happened....

Me: [Eyes gloss over and become entranced by Fr. Rick] Just kidding about that last part!

The last few days have been nice and quiet around here because a few people were on vacation and the city is basically shut down for the 1st and 2nd of the year to celebrate both the new year and Haiti's Independence Day. I have started to become the mother baker here in Kay Pere Wasson since I stole the baking sheet from the volunteer house in Kenscoff (I will give it back as soon as I can buy one). I made peanut butter cookies and chocolate chip cookies for Christmas and they were by no means good but they were good enough for those of use who rarely splurge on things like that. I have since bought my own bags of flour and sugar and vanilla (RD - aren't you proud - multi-useful!) and made another batch this weekend. Here's a suggestion to those of you who are baking or contemplating starting to bake...never use Nutella until you know what the subsitution ratio is. I found out the hard way and had really big, really flat nutella and peanut butter cookies. But people ate them anyway. They were ugly but good!

I had a lot of time to myself the last few days and it's been really nice. It's been quiet with Alfonso and Renand in Mexico, Guiseppe in Cuba and the offices closed. I watched Planet Earth again (thanks Nicole!) and I watched The Wedding Planner with Johny and Dieune because their impressions of the US are based on movies like the Terminator. I'm serious. I'm thinking I may need to have someone send me some of my movies so we can watch them because clearly I'm not a big enough influence on them to change their mind about the US!

Today I was my father's daughter because I offered to help Johny paint our seating area upstairs. We had a really good time painting and talking. Johny is really like a brother to me and especially now that rings true because he is a painter too just like Kevin! I asked him to explain to me how Haitian relationships work and why men always seem to have more than one wife and girlfriend. He gave me some good answers such as when someone gets pregnant (and they do very often) they are mostly forced to get married by the families and they don't really know each other, then when they have to live together they realize they don't know anything about each other or like anything about each other so they look elsewhere. (sounds like a lot of people in the US) It's not as easy to get a divorce or just move out and get your own place here in Haiti so the easiest thing to do is just go find someone else. Johny told me that I really need to know someone here before I should chose to be with them. I have to learn to find truth in people's eyes... I like that piece of advice. He told me he will help me and that I can just tell everyone he is my black brother. I was laughing so hard when we were talking. I told him that in the US we would not just say that to anyone because it's not always PC, but the thing is that here in Haiti it just is matter of fact - I'm white, he's black, if he's my brother now he is my black brother just the same as if we said he is my tall brother. Johny is really good to me and I'm glad God put us in the same building! Here is a picture of Johny painting....he kinda looks like Kevin, doesn't he?

Something I am proud of myself for overcoming has to do with paint. Growing up with and working for my dad I had learned to always find the seams in wallpaper, always check behind the toilet tanks, and to find the errors in the paintjob done by others...part of the job of being boss so you knew who was working and who wasn't. So all throughout my adult life I couldn't go anywhere without instinctively looking for these things and it would irritate me so much to see a bad job. But here in Haiti...someone drips paint on the floor from the roller or someone STEPS IN A DRIP AND FOOTPRINTS GO ON FOR THREE FEET....oh well...it will wear away sometime. I'm pretty proud of myself for just accepting! here is a picture of one of our finished projects. I did the white Johny did the peach. And it was ICI/Glidden paint!:

As I'm sitting her eating more than the recommended serving size of both the peanut butter and nutella on crackers (Thanks Alina!) I am getting eaten alive by mosquitos again. I just took down my mosquito net a couple weeks ago because I thought they were gone for awhile and here they show back up again. I refuse to give in because it's much nice sleeping without the net. It reminds me that I took a picture of some friends who decided to move into my room. I'm not sure if you can see the ants in the second picture, but they are there, and come in through their own personal door - the old electrical socket that has yet to be covered.

and don't even notice the paint job! This clearly never had a cover to begin with and never had a finished paint job!
On another less arachnaphobic note, a bunch of us received a wonderful Christmas message from Fr. Rick that I want to share with you. For anyone who still wonders why I am here and what pulled me in I think this message speaks to that. This is a man that I admire beyond words and on top of being such a wonderful human being, am also proud to call him my friend:

Dear Friends
As Christmas draws near, lets thank God together for the gift already received- the gift of life that was ours throughout the past 12 months , a true year of grace-and another chance to make the life we share together on mother earth a little more human and a little more divine.
Yet, it is hard to ignore the challenges and the sufferings in the world of 2008. These sufferings have been abundant all over the world, and in Haiti, once again, these have not been few. The hurricanes, the floods, the collapse of the schools, the poverty that is quite difficult to bear. But you and I and our Haitian team have together lightened t he load for many people, shown friendship and generous solidarity in good tim es and in bad. The signs of God present have been everywhere, and we discovered them together, We find them by offering whatever we have, humbly and generously, to each moment.
So many times over the past year, the hungry were fed, the naked were clothed, the oppressed have been set free. The homeless have found lodging. The dead have been buried tenderly, the wounded have been bound with care. We have cared for the widow and the orphan, making room for them at the table of life. Those whose disabilities give them even more challenges than any of us have had to face, have also found a way toward a better tomorrow through friendship, schooling and physical therapy under your and our wide wings.
God did not give us life just to survive, but rather to thrive. We are not here to help each other survive. We have to discern the star of hope, and chart our way into a world of fullness of life. And so together it has been important that in 2008 we have raised again the star20of hope for many people, the sign of ascending light, trying to unleash in the hearts of the young strivings for a better world.
We have offered even higher levels of education, university studies and opportunities for short study abroad. We have introduced computers to the most desolate slums, in order to include the children in the most important of all literacy: connection to the whole wide world. We have helped any number of young adults start small enterprises to help them get ahead. We have introduced not only movies, but movie stars and movie making, to children whose imaginations and dreams are wild like stallions, but are held back by mud and garbage and wide social margins. We are improving our treatment of childhood cancers, and have prepared our hospital for digital xray and beyond.
The world’s economic crisis, while generating abundant tragedies at all level s of society, will hurt the poor exponentially much more than it will hurt any of us. And the worse enemy of all, a sense of cynicism and discouragement, is always waiting in the wings and r epresents a constant danger.
We are celebrating the feast of Christmas, God’s ful l offering of Self to us, whose marvelous meaning is that God finds us so valuable as to join us even in our suffering and pain. May our generosity mirror God’s generosity. May our hope in tomorr ow be grounded in God’s vision of who we are and what we can become. May our hope itself be a star, brilliant enough to drive cynicism and despair into the shadows forever.

Thank you for investing in children, in the unfortunate, in tomorrow. This investment, according to the Gospel, brings its riches even to you, and touches the very heart of God.
May your generosity and good heart attract many blessi ngs upon you and your family, from our loving God, throughout the new year of grace.

Fr Rick Frechette
Dec 19, 2008
Port au Prince

After such encouraging words, now we are coming into 2009 fundraising year with possible need for 10 - 30% budget cuts. We are not all going to Nicaragua for the Annual Meeting anymore. I already bought my ticket, trying to be on top of things before the prices went to high, and now I'm not going. I told Fr. Rick I would figure something out about my ticket because I don't want to bother him with it. Does anyone know a way to finagle my money back from American for this ticket? I think I will be stuck switching it to a later date and having to pay $100 to change it. It already cost me $700!!!!! This is a lot of money. Any helpful info is much appreciated. I was thinking of maybe just flying into Miami that week but that is stupid to pay $700 to go to Miami.

Tomorrow I'm off to the hospital for the Admin meeting in the morning and then hopefully up to Kenscoff in the afternoon. I'd love any questions or suggestions on things you would like to know about the hospital because I need to start adding things to our St. Damien Hospital blog. My assistant (i'm so not that cool) and I are going to put together some ideas this week but we are open for anything people want to read about.

Oh one more thing before I go to bed. Last night I heard some woman fighting with her boyfriend outside my window - in reality she could have been 4 blocks down that's how good the sound carries right to the side of our building - and I had nightmares all night long. It was the first time I can remember having a nightmare in a long time and my mom showed up at the end of the dream so I could tell her about my nightmare. Jeannie - I looked it up and nothing in the dream tipped me off about what it could have really been about. At first I was being held down by this invisible force, so much that I think I was actually holding my leg in my sleep and trying to move it! Then I was trying to cook au gratin potatoes, with corn (weird) in pots on 10 stoves, and then I was putting my dirty curtains in the 50 pots I was using, but then I couldn't get the curtains and rest of the laundry out enough so that I could find the corn (weirder), then I tried to put the curtains in the washing machine and my mom showed up and asked me why I was having such a bad dream. The only thing I can piece together is that I'm waiting for the washing machine to get up and running here so I don't have to wash by hand anymore - but seriously all that for the laundry machine? Bizarre.

Oh...my two pretty ladies who I talked to this weekend...I hope you remember what I said and know that I meant it. love you to pieces.

Happy New Year of Grace 2009!!!
Much love,
Robin

I leave you with one of the best pictures from the Christmas Album:

"Lifting all this dead weight is how I keep my great physique!" - Fr. Rick Frechette 12/26/08

2008-12-29T21:05:00.014-05:00

First - Happy Belated Birthday to my Goddaughter Sydney - she is now 1 year old!!!

Where have the days gone? After prompting from someone who I know does not regularly read my blog like he should (Sherman) I looked and can’t believe I haven’t entered anything since December 7th. I surprised my dad and went home to Chicago for four days right before Christmas. There’s no way to compare the 80 degree weather I left to the 0 and -0 weather I arrived to in Chicago. I was so happy to be in the cold and so happy to drive my car! My dear dear friends Jeannie and Jenn picked me up and we had dinner at Denny’s – I was craving some badly fried food. Mel and the other Robin met us also and we had a great few hours laughing and talking. I was really excited to sleep at Jeannie’s in a big comforter and snuggle away from the cold. And I was more excited when I weighed myself and found that I had lost 25 pounds. So the next morning I spent some wonderful hours with my dad, brother and Aunt Denise shopping for new clothes. My awesome little brother bought me all my new clothes. I almost cried and so did the lady at the register in Old Navy. She actually said, “please give me a moment to compose myself.”

My friend Jan has a beautiful view of Navy Pier from her condo and all of the E-A-F-F group met over at her place for dinner Thursday night. Friday I finally got my new driver’s license and spent the day with my Claudio visiting Michelle and shopping for other things I needed. We had a girls night at Karen’s on Friday night with Karen, Robin, Alyssa, Kristen, Angi, Mel, Jeannie, and Paula. It was so nice to be with all the girls again and just hang out. One thing I miss terribly are the jokes and sarcasm that I have with my friends. I hope by now the twins have decided to give Mel's body a break and come visit the world! And congratulations to Kristen, Andy and AJ for the newest addition coming into their family!

I was finally able to meet Grace, my cousin Dina’s daughter at our family Christmas party on Saturday. I still can't believe has fast Lily is growing and how much she continues to look like Dina! Here she is looking like an angel with her present from our Night Before

Christmas game that my family plays every year. Thank you again to all my family for re-arranging the schedule so we could have Christmas when I was home. Before heading back to my fourth world country I had breakfast with Dad, Kevin, Jeannie, Nicole and Robin at my old favorite Davi’s. I love love love this picture of my dad, my brother and me. We committed the sin of gluttonly (Joanne and dad – Catholicism vs. Lutheran!!) and each ordered a meal and sides so we could taste them all. Looking back now that was kind of disgusting but worth every bite while we were there!

I was really ready to come back home after the few days because the overwhelming array of excess, especially since it was Christmas, was starting to bother me a lot. I went to three malls while I was home and the attitudes of the people in the malls really disturbed me. I couldn’t believe how angry people are driving on the street and how angry they are standing in line at the store…like they are not aware of the fact that they live in metropolitan Chicago and that the Christmas season comes each year at the same time and that it snows every year and get really cold. I mean seriously, if you are that mad about those things, MOVE. I was thinking about the situation here in Haiti. The vast majority of people do not have jobs, do not have daily food, do not have vehicles, do not have more than one outfit, do not have shoes, and so far I have not encountered a single Haitian that was in as bad of a mood as some of those I crossed in Chicago. I sat in the plane for over 2 and ½ hours in O’hare because the machine that pushes the aircraft away from the terminal broke down after it had clamped onto our plane. Then the diesel was frozen and they couldn’t get it started. I also sat in the airport in Miami for 3 extra hours because the cold was holding up in the incoming planes. I can’t really complain because there were some people who were stuck sleeping in the airport and at least I didn’t have to have that experience.

So when I came back to Haiti my broken door was fixed and the good news is that sometime in the next month I will have curtains on my windows. I came up to Kenscoff right away to be with the kids and take pictures of the dance and song competition that they have been having all week long. It finished on Christmas Day and it was the coolest thing I have seen since I have been here. The children are so creative and artistic. The theme was Christmas and the environment and they did a great job writing the songs and choreographing the dances.

I made another turkey for Christmas and I had to go down to Petionville because the oven up in Kenscoff isn’t big enough, so I went down at 8 am and came back up at 4 and miraculously the 25 lbs turkey was cooked all the way through. I was so excited to see Fr. Rick and Prosper and Claude and Sr. Philomena was there too. I told them so and I really feel like I'm at home with family when I'm with them. I had to stop at the market on the way up to buy some cheese and when I got back in the truck Fr. Rick told me “robin I have committed a sin.” And I said “but I was only in there for 2 minutes what could you have possibly done?” He replied, “I tasted the turkey.” And I said “well who care, so did I!” which gave him the green light to ask if he could eat the turkey leg on the way up. I told him “I don’t care but when they ask why our turkey only has one leg you need to think of the reason.” We joked that it could be a good fundraising tool: NPFS is so poor that can only afford one-leg-amputee turkeys!!! Too bad I’m the one who bought and paid for the dumb turkey!

On Friday after Christmas I went inside the actual rooms of the morgue for the first time. For those of you with weak stomachs you can skip ahead past the next picture. As you may recall, the men who work in the morgue have been in prison for over a month now and the morgue is getting really backed up. I have only been there once and it was only to see the children after the school collapse. This was a completely different experience. Each week Fr. Rick and the St. Luc team bring 20 coffins to the morgue to pick up the unnamed/unclaimed dead and give them a proper burial in land that we own outside of Port au Prince. This day we started with 60 coffins and sent for more so we had a total of 105. 20 children or 1 adult are placed inside each coffin. We estimated that we buried about 500 adults and children Friday. I don’t even know how to describe it but I will try. First, the morgue is located at the general hospital of Port au Prince and when you drive up to it you can get a whiff of the stench. Most people need to smoke menthol cigarettes to cover the smell. I am a proud wearer of the nicotine patch so I skipped the cigarettes and opted for the surgical mask. There is blood water running out the door and that is because when a family member comes to collect their deceased relative the morgue people find the body in the room and literally drag it by the arms or legs down the hallway to the door for the family to identify it. It’s like nothing you will ever see in the US. In the morgues at home we would never see the body of our deceased relative without the body being cleaned – here they don’t even take off the clothes, if they are torn or ripped or half-removed, they stay that way on the body. So there is a big freezer that the bodies are kept in and knowing that no one has been organizing or collecting the dead for burials over the past month I do have to say it looked a bit like I expected but was more gross than I pictured. When the door opened there were bodies on the floor with more bodies stacked on top of them. There are bodies half-thrown onto the shelves with more bodies thrown on top of them, or half hanging off from them. The men had to actually step on top of some of the bodies to get inside – it sounds so barbaric doesn’t it? We bring the coffins into the hallway, lay one down in front of the door and the bodies of babies and children are passed along from the room in the hallway by about three people and put 20 at a time into the coffins. Then I put a rosary in the coffin ( again dad and joanne……) and then we put the “in paradise..” paper on top and close the coffin and another group takes it out the truck to load it. I was kind of in a daze watching the children because they look like little dolls. Some of them were really gross, you could tell they were not taken care of, or were really sick and just dropped of outside, some of them were actually wrapped in bag and in a box, some of them looked like a surgical procedure gone wrong. I didn’t think that they adults could make me sadder than the babies and children, but I realized as the 6 hours at the morgue wore on that the further we got into the room the longer those bodies had been there. The smell got so bad and looking at some of the corpses was like watching a scary movie with zombies and dead people – and most of you probably know how much I do not like that. It was all just so un-dignified. There was a family coming to claim it’s daughter while we were putting bodies into caskets and we had to stop and let the temp-workers at the morgue drag this poor women’s bodies out of the freezer, pull her by her arms down the hall and just leave her in the middle of the hall, to the side of course, until her family came to claim her. The part that bothers me the most about this is not that she was pulled out by her arms and left in the hallway but that her clothes were all askew and her breasts were exposed and her one arm hung into the hallway and no one moved it they just kept walking over it. I saw people’s bodies fall out of the doorway and their skulls made a loud noise if the next person didn’t move fast enough to catch the head before it hit the ground. I had to walk out twice, once because I started shaking and had to take a break. I think when I’m that kind of a situation I do not process it while it is happening but I process it later but I do know that I needed a break and some fresh air. Fresh air is kind of an oxymoron because the only place I could go was right outside the door where everyone is still smoking like chimneys and I needed to make sure I didn’t step in a puddle of blood water. The second time was when I almost barfed as we got further and further back. The saddest part of it all is that we barely made dent in the bodies that were in that freezer and as we were leaving I found out that it was one of TWO inside the morgue. Fr. Rick said it was good we didn’t go into the second one because it is probably worse than the first one. Next we waited for the trucks to return after they brought the first loads to the cemetery. So strange that I thought nothing of getting in the back of the truck with Fr. Rick and standing next to 15 coffins of dead people as we drove through Port au Prince and Cite Soleil to get the to the cemetery. And we actually had a really good conversation about the state of affairs here at NPFS while were riding with the dead – hence the quote from Fr. Rick at the beginning of this blog. The ceremony was beautiful and we have a band “the Grateful Dead” who comes to play each week for the service and the music reminded me of New Orleans. When I got back home that night I made grilled cheese sandwiches for Fr. Rick, Claude, Prosper, Domo and myself. It was nice to have a kind of family dinner because I didn’t feel very connected to anyone all day long. I thought for sure I would have nightmares but I tend to forget that God will give me strength and guide me and that seems to be what happened because I have not had a nervous breakdown or freaked out or had nightmares. In fact I kind of want to go do it again. And I for sure want to go to nursing school. I mean if I can stand in a room of dead bodies with the stench and not barf all over my shirt that must mean my stomach and my head can handle some pretty heavy stuff. I’m anxious to hear anyone’s opinion on that, especially those that has been through nursing or medical school. I can take any constructive criticism about if you think I can hack it or not! This photo is of the new graves on the right hand side, that were dug Friday (with a back-hoe and these men's hard labor) for the 105 new coffins. So since then I have been up here with the children and freezing. I knew I should have listened to Jeannie when she said to bring my scarf with me from Chicago! I’ve also read the book Twilight and loved it – it’s about vampires so maybe that’s why I did so well at the morgue? I’m looking forward to reading the rest and I’m hoping my friend Jean will let Jeannie mail them to her and she can bring them to me!!!!

Today was the first day that I had children test the limits with me. Not to bad for being here over three months already, but sadly I think they won! We had the Sisters of Charity visiting for a retreat and using our volunteer house and the children are not supposed to come past the gate into our house but they kept coming down and just refused to listen to me when I was rounding them back up outside the gate. Two girls actually mocked me and did a little dance. I just told them they were not funny and were not cute. But I was on fire inside!!!!! I felt like the idiot but afterward they were talking to me like nothing had happened. We had a program again tonight where the mets and madams (caregivers) sang and danced for the children. It was great and the kids loved it. I haven’t created any injuries lately or fallen down the stairs again so it was about time and lo and behold ( I love that phrase!) I elbowed the psychologist, Roldy, in the jaw and for a second we thought he lost a tooth. It was all because the crazy kids keep reaching for my very expensive camera and I was trying to move it out of the way. We are friends so he jokingly said “ thanks for the punch in the mouth!”
Here is a picture of me and Roldy. I'm holding the gift for Jenn and Steve's goddaughter because she was changing out of her dress clothes after being in the Christmas mass as one of the dancers:

I got lots of good stuff for Christmas and thank you to everyone who gave me presents, cards, and money! Anywho, it’s 9pm here and most of the orphanage is asleep so I’m going to wrap up my blanket that I’ve been using to cover myself here in the office, not proof-read or spell-check this blog, sign off and go to the Volunteer house to make some hot tea and go to bed. I’m missing my family and my friends a lot to day so I want you all to know how much you mean to me.

Much love, peace, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Robin

"Am I really talking to a cow?" - Juliette Salmon 12/7/08

2008-12-09T20:12:00.020-05:00

I think that all of us here were just delirious from the busy past week and yesterday Juliette and I were sitting upstairs at the hospital talking and she was looking over the wall and realized that she was talking to the cows at one point - hence the quote of the day in this blog titled. We laughed and laughed and laughed and realized it was time to go home and go to bed.

So where to begin? Last Monday we had about 40 guests arrive for the Inauguration of Kay Germaine, and among them were many Hollywood stars like Maria Bello, Josh Brolin, Bryn Mooser, Michael Stahl-David, Madeline Stowe, John Edwards and a few more. I thought it was going to be surreal but they all were all very down to earth and fun to be with. Monday night we all hung out upstairs at the guest house at the hospital and had a nice dinner and some drinks.

[side note: Fr. Rick just called me to tell me they were driving my building with six dead bodies because there was a bad accident on the Rue Freres, Brothers Road, and by the time they got to the scene these six people had died and others were airlifted. This is especially tragic looking back on what has happened over the past few months - first the hurricanes, then the people in need as a result of the hurricanes, then the school collapse, the another accident that same night, then we find out there are children who are starving to death in an area on the southeast part of the island that is difficult to get to and we are trying to find ways to get there by helicopter, then we find out that the guys who work at the morgue are thrown in prison for life. This is especially tragic because those guys were the only ones crazy enough to work there, and now that they are in jail no one is taking care of the morgue and it has been 22 days since they were put in jail for a misunderstanding about the bodies of the children from the school collapse. The government sent 100 sheets to the morgue for those children and said they would pay for the funerals of the children from the school. Well since Haiti is so poor and people often cannot pay the cost of the funeral, parents of other deceased children were bringing their bodies to the morgue and putting them in the pile of the children from the school. So ultimately it looked like the guys in the morgue were not using the sheets for the intended bodies, and when the prime minister found out they were all thrown into prison for life, without due process, without explanation. So tonight these six bodies will just get put outside the door of the morgue since no one is working there. It's quite a disaster.]

Now how am I to go back to the celebrations of last week after that phone call? I think I'll just give a schedule of what we did along with the photos since I've kind of lost the will to be excited right now.

Tuesday I took about 20 Italian Godparents up to the orphanage for a tour and visit the kids. It was really fun, REALLY tiring, and really long. Then we returned to the hospital to have dinner with the Hollywood group. This night is when I got to hang out with Michael and found out we are both from Chicago. He's so fun and down to earth and I'm excited to see where his career goes in the future. I definitely have to see the Black Donnelly's now.

Wednesday was the inauguration of Kay St. Germaine. This is the special needs facility that was built behind the hospital to reach out to parents with children who have special needs. There is a day school there for the children who are capable of classroom learning, a micro-finance program for the mothers so they can work and earn money for their families, and a workshops for making peanut butter and jewelry for the kids who are older or unable to be in a classroom. Gena is really amazing with how much she has done for the special needs community in Haiti. Those kids are usually the ones who are forgotten and tossed to the side, but what she does gives each and everyone of them dignity and also helps the mothers. I have some great photos from this day on the link but my two favorites are below. The first is of Jena and Darline. Jena runs the Kay Eliane special needs program here in Petionville on the 2nd and 3rd floors of my building and Darline is one of the girls from Kay Christine who now works for the Kay Elaine making Christmas cards! This photo says so much about who Jena is and how she cares for the kids. She is remarkable and I can't say enough good things about her. The second photo is of a mother at the Inauguration and her child comes to our program. This mother is caring for her child and singing during the mass...I think it shows how hard these mothers work to care for thier kids and how much they love them. And it was freaking hot that day and look how nicely she is dressed!!! The third picture is Fr. Rick receiving the gifts from the school children during mass. I love this photo.

Thursday was a good day because we attempted to deliver food to Cabaret, but we had to split the group up half way because Fr. Rick had to get back to meet someone. We stopped at a river and Maria Bello got in the water with the people washing and bathing. She's awesome. I never in a million years imagined myself hanging out with her when I saw Coyote Ugly!!! I also got to spend some time with her on the bus to the airport and she asked me my story and told me how awesome it was. So here are some photos from that day and also from Cite Soleil were we went later. It's interesting to watch the different levels of comfort that people have being in these places. I guess I'm either just comfortable, ignorant of what is really going on, or just used to it by now. There are a few photos of kids signing into microphones because Prosper (one of Fr. Rick's right-hand guys) had this microphone all day. It's not plugged into anything but the kids love it. They were singing the City Soleil theme song and also a song about AIDS and not to get in trouble.

Michael joking around with the kids!

Johny and Prosper interviewing Alina about what she thinks of the street school .

AFter Cite Soleil we all went out for dinner and dancing at the Oloffson Hotel.

This is Rafael, Juliette and Jennifer

Me and Juliette - she's the one who talks to cows. There's more fun dancing pictures but you'll have to see them on the links below because I just realized that I lost the last half of the blog as I was putting photos in and I'm way too tired to remember what I put so I'm going to bed and maybe I'll feel like updating more tomorrow!!
Oloffson Hotel
Delivering Food to Cabare
Kids at the Hospital
Cite Soleil
Inauguration
School Collapse Site
Visit to Kenscoff
Dinner Parties

I hope all is well in the good old USA where my governor got indicted today. Idiot.

Robin

Sneak Peaks into the Past Week of Festivities

2008-12-07T00:00:00.016-05:00

It's 12:30am here and I'm exhausted but I'm giving myself 10 minutes to give you sneak into this past week's events. Gena's Kay Ste. Germaine Inauguration was awesome and she is wonderful - And Maeve is amazing because she never runs out of energy! My cameras went to Gonaive today so when I get it back tomorrow I'll upload even more fun pictures from the night we all went out dancing!!!

This is me and the coolest guy in Hollywood Michael Stahl David (Cloverfield). He's from Chicago and we took this picture because we thought we were eating a Chicago favorite, pizza, but it turns out it was quiche. And no friends, he is not single!

This is me and my baby Ofe. If I had a job that paid more money I would start adoption processes right now. He calls me momma and tells me he misses me "anpil, anpil, anpil (a lot a lot a lot)." He was abandoned and I love him. I had him with me the whole afternoon at the inauguration. He looks sad because he was hungry. It was 2pm and he usually eats at 12. I would have paid $100 to get him a snack at this point.
These are my $80 jeans (I have never paid that much for jeans in my life - thank you Calvin Klein. Rafael spilled my wine and it was all over my pants and my shoes, but the party made it worth it. But we can all agree that spilled wine is wasted wine.

This is my favorite picture from the whole week. This is Juna, she's in charge of the program here in Petionville, and Darline, one of the girls from Kay Christine who now works in Petionville. I love this picture because you can see how much Juna loves Darline and how sweet of a person she is. They sang together at the inauguration.

Alina and I went to the store yesterday and she thought it was hilarious that these off-brand pringles have this flavor. I think it's gross!

Ofe eating lunch with us. He did not let any of the chicken go to waste. He usually gets a blend of rice and beans to eat each day. By the way, Maria Bello is sitting across from Efo. She is the coolest chick in Hollywood.

Alina took this photo of me sharing the picture with the kids in the baby house in Kenscoff. I thought they look so cute!

Alina and I going through an obnoxious amount of things for her to pack to bring home for the Friends auction. And I see it in this picture that I'm not so chubby anymore!

I think I need to start wearing hats more. Jenn...I'd like some knitted hats like this!

Yes. It's me and John Edwards. And yes. I got his permission to use this photo in my blog. Who in their right mind asks John Edwards to take a self-portrait? I'm not shy. BUT LOOK AT MY HAIR!!! It looks that way because of the next picture. My mother would so not be proud of me for brushing my hair even less here than when I lived at home with her.

This is my "hair blowing in the wind" picture because we are riding in the back of the truck going to Cite Soleil. This is Johny on the left, he runs my building - he's one of my buddies here. Leopole, the social worker for NPFS, on the right.

This is me and Jimmy Jean Louis in Cite Soleil. Hanging out with movies stars is really tough.

These are two security detail guys for the US Ambassador who visited our hospital last Monday. I literally said, "hey dudes, can I take your photo while we are on the break during the breakfast?" They said, "sure but can we pose?"

Alyssa and Robin: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABIES!!!! I have been so crazy busy since November 29 that I didn't get to call you. I hope it was fun and I hope you get my presents in the mail soon!!

Much love to all, I'm going to bed because tomorrow it's back to business.

Robin

Ice Cream!

2008-11-28T17:54:00.003-05:00

Today was Michael's 19th birthday. Michael is one of the boys who is doing his year of service and he helped me a ton with the Memory Project when I first arrived to NPFS. His brother Joseph is a really great young man too, I think I wrote about how he was a victim of a scam that was supposed to send him to Venezuela, and he quit his job, and after they found out it was a scam he was not able to get his job back. I wanted to take them out for ice cream to celebrate the day Michael was born and to talk to Joseph about possibly being and apprentice for me and learning how I do my job. It would work out great because when I am not able to be in two places at once, Joseph can go to the other for me and take pictures and notes! Michael is giving his year of service and had to go to Kenscoff for the weekend, and Joseph got stuck in Port au Prince so instead I bought ice cream for the two evening workers, Renard and myself and then I went to the shwanky Villa Creole and had a vodka tonic with Fr. Rick and Kieran's family, tough life here in Haiti today!

It's truly wonderful to see how some of the families of siblings take care of each other. Michael told me yesterday that he realizes that even though he is in school, he relies on his brother a lot for financial support and now that his brother doesn't have a job and Michael is a little older he wants to contribute. And Joseph keeps telling him over and over not to worry about it, that it will all work out because God is good. It reminds me of when I worried so much about me and my brother and if I could afford to keep my house. Compared to what these kids face each day and wondering if they will have enough money for food, what Kevin and I went through is peanuts. God has an amazing way of not giving us more than we can handle, and if we listen closely sometimes we are blessed with the opportunity to realize what we learned from those "trials and tribulations." Today I'm thankful for all that I have been blessed with.

Even though I'm thankful for what I do have, I realize how quickly it goes. I changed $120 more US dollars today and I have to say money goes super fast. I may have to think about doing some online medical billing or something for extra cash to be able to afford the little trips for ice cream and extra phone cards that I have to buy! Thank you God for skype so I don't have to make international calls on my phone. I did pull out my cell from the states the other day and I sure miss my text messaging little keyboard! And I sure miss the time I had in the car to call people and catch up while I drove the ridiculous amount of miles each day!

I also went to the bank for the first time today so see what it was like. There were tons of people there and I just sat in a chair waiting for Maurice to finish his business with the banker. The bad part is that there was a man sitting next to me who had the worst breath ever. He kept talking to the woman he was with and it kept drafting over to me! Ugh. I wanted to suggest to him that we have a dental clinic at the hospital and maybe he should visit it....can we say colgate and a $.99 toothbrush anyone?????

I'm gearing up for the visits for next week for the inauguration and I'm starting to get excited. I had to confirm our hotel reservations for the guests and detail the transport schedule today. Say a prayer that it goes well.

And I'm sure lots of people have been busy the last two days with the holiday and black friday today - I wish I could have gone shopping for some jeans that fit me - but I have to say that I'm surprised I have received more comments about the sushi than about everyone's Thanksgiving celebrations!!

Sending lots of good thoughts to the US today,

Robin

30 Things I'm Thankful for in 2008

2008-11-27T22:01:00.016-05:00

1. My dad and my brother and my dearest departed mother, who I miss more than anything today.

2. My family at home and my Haitian family that has so graciously excepted me into there lives - especially Maeve who was a rockstar helping me get the dinner ready tonight and Alfonso who took me to buy the turkey!3. Jeannie who is like a sister to me and loves me for who I am. 4. My good friends who support me for making the decision to move to Haiti for a year: Jenn, Steve, Robin, Alyssa, Karen, Angi, Kristen, Mel, Mike, Nicole, Paula, Krissy, Paul, Matty, Katherine, Jan, Cathy, Jim, Michelle, Sarah, Linda, Claudio, Josie, Bill, Mary Kay, Eileen, Gene and the list could go on forever and ever because God has given me a truly great circle of friends!

5. For God blessing me with the ability to make a turkey in Haiti with an oven that had no temperature gage and a broken thermometer: 6. That God took Dr. Wiet's hands in my brain surgery which has allowed me another year to celebrate Thanksgiving and remember what I'm thankful for (including that I'm thankful for the American Thanksgiving Dinner!).

7. That even though there are starving children not too far away from where I live, there are hundreds of people working for NGOs to try and put an end to it, each doing their own little piece of the work.

8. That I am learning to speak another language to communicate with more people.

9. My Godchildren Zachary, Sydney and Alexxis.

10. My dogs who I think about every day and wish I could cuddle with.

11. Iced Coffee and Diet Coke that I think about every day and wish first that I had a car here, and second that there where drive-ups here in Haiti.

12. Terrence, Luke, and Paul because a large part of who I am is because of them.

13. The internet because it gives me the capability to call my family and friends when I really need to talk to them.

14. Sarcasm simply because I like to be sarcastic and really miss it here because no one understands American jokes!

15. That I was born into a country where I was able to eat more than one meal every couple days, able to get a good education and subsequently get a good job which allowed me to purchase a nice car and a great place to live.

16. Direct Loans because it let me defer my school loans while I am in Haiti.

17. Miller Lite, I appreciate it more than ever because I can't get it here.

18. Mr. Hancock my High School English teacher because he was the first person outside of my family who taught me to stick up for myself and not be afraid to be assertive.

19. Pastors Mueller Sr. and Jr, Noll and Helfrich because everyday I am reminded of how important my faith is and I recieved much formation from each of them.

20. My vision because my little girl in the hospital will never know what it is to see a flower or the sky or even what she looks like.

21. My hearing, because even though it's only half, it's more than nothing.

22. Music because it helps to calm me down.

23. Barack Obama for giving me something to look forward to as an American Citizen (sorry dad, but it's what I think!)

24. My grandparents for instilling in me that I should go for what I want because at the end of life we look back and realize its way to short.

25. My grandma especially because there is not a day that goes by that I don't miss her and wish I could sneak her KFC mashed potatoes and sit on her bed and tell her about my day.

26. Pedicures from the shop at the mall because I can't get one here, and the do-it-yourself one just isn't the same using a bucket of water.

27. Krissy Marchese for giving me my job at Friends of the Orphans where I was introduced to NPFS and Fr. Rick.

28. Laundry Detergent that costs less than $10 per bottle.

29. The benefactors who have helped me get here, and also helped me afford the $10 bottle of laundry detergent.

30. My David Gray, Espanola Mixa and Jack Johnson CDs because they are the only ones I brought with me and I would be lost without some sounds of home.

I hope you all had a very enjoyable and fun and love filled Thanksgiving. I was thinking of everyone and wishing really badly that I was at home to spend it with those I love most dear.

Love and Peace,

robin

PS - I'm NOT thankful for mosquitos because the are back again and they can carry Malaria!!!

Sushi Photo

2008-11-25T21:19:00.001-05:00

This is for all of you holding out to see it!

Happy Birthday Alfonso

2008-11-24T20:28:00.011-05:00

First things first. On a morning like today when I had to get up early to get the hospital, this is the view I see from my balcony:

Today was Alfonso's birthday and last night we decorated his door with happy birthday wishes. We had a small party for him and Vicky made him a cake. Here he is cutting his own cake. I told him he shoudn't be doing those things on his birthday and his response was that we should do double for everyone else when we are celebrating our own birthdays. He is so great, I call him Tio because he is like an uncle to me.

And here is Vicky, a wonderful Betty Crocker in disguise:

Here are some fun shots of Fr. Rick and his entourage at the party. We had a really nice time with a dinner of rice with ham and cheese sandwiches! We had a lengthy discussion of who I can marry in Haiti because I went out with one guy for dinner on Saturday and apparently it has caused a little bit of potential marriage jealously - who knew? It's pretty funny to me since I have not expressed interest in getting married to either of them!!! Fr. Rick said it's time for another wedding and I would be the sweet sixteenth wedding of Nos Petits Freres et Soeurs. Maybe a boyfriend would be nice, or someone to take me out for free food, but I'm not sure I'll want to live in Haiti forever, I can't even describe the smell without taking a poll from my fellow volunteers.

Breaking bread together in our dining room upstairs where I live.

Fr. Rick serenading us with a Bocelli song that he is having all the guys practice to perform for Bocelli when he comes to Haiti. I thought it was nice ambience with the tree in the background.

This is what happens to your cake when you ask Fr. Rick to pass it around the table. He takes a bite and passes it on.

I love this photo because it has some of my favorite people in it. Back left to right: Domo, Rafael, me, and Claude (Claude is like my adopted dad here and now we are all calling him papa), Front left to right: Fr. Rick (with a snarling face!), Juliette my partner in crime, and Alfonso.

I really liked this photo of me, Rafael and Juliette. He was convinced he looks the best in the photo and Juliette and I are convinced it's us.

I had a great week and can hardly believe it's been so long since I posted anything here. And i still don't have the photos of the sushi dinner...but I promise I wasn't making it up. Thanks to everyone who was so concerned about the sushi!

We had a visitor from Spain this week and I went on my first official hospital tour with the HR Administrator and now that I've had the tour apparently it qualifies me to give a tour. The American Ambassador for PEPFAR (Pres. Bush HIV initiative) will be visiting us on Monday but Fr. Rick gets to give that tour because I don't rank high enough yet - I am important enough to organize a small reception with some pastries for after the tour! I took the Spanish visitor to Gonaive because she wanted to see what it looked like from the flooding and I'm sad to report that over four weeks since the last time I was there, it doesn't look much different. Here's a photo of how gross the water looks and I'm sure you can only imagine the extent of disease that this will be producing in the coming months.

We found out that there is an area in southeast part of Haiti where children are starving to death. Click here to read the story. And we are working on arranging a helicopter to take us there to see the situation and bring some food. Fr. Rick said he will be bringing four people, Rafael, Augusnel, Nebez and ME!!!! yeah! I hope it happens because I've never been in a helicopter before and I hear it's cold up there so I can wear a sweatshirt, or at least my long sleeve Tshirt!

I also had my first encounter with using the outdoor facilities when a bathroom is no where to be found. It wasn't as bad as I imagined, but I did end up stepping on a cactus branch on my way out of the bushes and it cut through my foot - this just after I had a conversation about not stepping on my shower drain because I didn't want to cut my foot like my grandpa did righth before he died - and so God must have thought it would be funny to make me step on a cactus that came right through my sandal instead. But have no fear Schwartz Family, I'm already healed from this small disaster.

And a funny story happened on Saturday night while I was sitting outside having a beer with some friends. Juliette, who lives with me (below is her photo with Rafael), was looking around the building to see if her ride was here, and I leaned back in my chair to see too and fell over. It was so embarrassing because everyone thought I was drunk (it's funny here for eveyrone to proclaim you are drunk after one drink...odd but funny.) and I had only had one beer. So of course I had to save face and stay for another one. Good thing I didn't hurt myself because a few days before I fell on the tiles upstairs in our kitchen and completely wiped out. Only one person saw that time and now that I think about it, he may have been there for the second time as well.

Random thoughts for the day:

I'm really excited because my friends Jennifer and Alina come to visit next week and it will be nice to see them when they get here.
Today I wore the outfit that I have on in the pictures above and apparently I dress like a slob every other day because today a lot of people complimented me that I looked so nice. And even sadder is that I haven't washed my hair for a few days.
I spoke to my family yesterday because they celebrated Thanksgiving and it was really wonderful to hear their voices.
Tonight my neighborhood smells like charcoal. It's easy to describe.
My favorite child in the hospital is a little blind girl in the abandoned babies room. Whenever I'm at the hospital I try to go see her a few times a day and pick her up and kiss her. I'm not even sure if she has eyes. She has the cutest little face and gets so happy when I tickle her. Her photo will be coming soon.

Cool friends/family I have and why:

Lisa Donnelly Miner because she has sent me a care package with embroidery thread for one of our projects here and everyone is so happy. And she read my mind and is sending me People Magazine!
Kate Sievers (5 years old) because when her mom read her my very first newsletter for Haiti she said: "They need sippies, we should send them some." I'm proud that she is a young philanthropist in the making...if only she could come visit me here. If you haven't received a copy of the newsletter and would like to see it, let me know.
Jenn and Steve Sievers and Sherman Humphrey for organizing getting my camera replaced because I dropped it. I'm very grateful for this especially because today I took some video on my old camera and it has somehow disappeared.
Jeannie because she is sad that she can't skype me during the day like in the good old days.
Marianne and Kristen because they signed up to follow my blog.
Cathy Walz because she told me that she has my blog set up as her home page!!!!
Maeve, my fellow volunteer, because she told me I should write a book.
My dad because he gave me some money for my skype account so I can be like E.T. and phone home. Thanks Dad!!! No Haitian adoptive father will ever replace you, but he does make a good judge of character for potential boyfriends and he's pretty protective of me.
Michelle Johnston because I received the coolest package from her filled with a big supply of indivual ice tea and lemonade packets!
My cousin Dina because she just had the cutest little baby and named her Grace.
Laura Useche because she makes me feel better about having to pee on the side of the road. Note to Jeannie - have a conversation about this with her when you get a chance.
Ally Sievers and Zachary Cywin because they are the coolest middle schoolers I know, and I think about them both every single day and love their guts!

I'm starting to get nervous about our big party next week for the opening of Kay Germaine but I'm counting on the fact that guests from Italy and the Hollywood stars will be bringing lots of wine and cheese! The wine will help me in with my plan to throw myself at the feet of James Franco and beg to be in his next movie.

So I think that's it for the update right now. RD, AK, KM and AK I just can't believe you are too busy to write me updates about what is going on so I better get one soon.

Peace,

Robin

I didn't die from the Sushi

2008-11-16T19:24:00.018-05:00

The sushi night was very good. We went to a hotel called Hotel Ibolele for the sushi and $10US vodka tonics. I was very lucky that one of the men with us paid for the bill and wouldn't accept money! I will put the photo when i get it from my friend Tiffany. Saturday night I went with some friends to a local barbershop that also sells beer and plays music late into the night. I had such a good time because there were a lot of little kids hanging around...it was more like a block party, and I danced and danced with the little kids. I think we all had a really good time.

I forgot to mention on Friday that Thursday I went up to the orphanage to give someone a tour to meet her Godchild. Renard, one fo the men who lives in my building, was our driver. And on the way up the mountian - ki le nou te monte Kenscoff (see I am learning) - Renard stopped to offer a ride to some little girls who were walking up the mountain home after school. It was so cute and they all jumped into the back of the truck and were happy. I took a photo of them. Remember that we don't have rule about seatbelts and not riding in the back of a truck, and we don't have rules that prohibit me from climbing out the passenger window to take the photo while we are driving! I love it!!!!!
I stood on my balcony today and no...not because I'm ready to jump! I wanted to take some photos and show what the view from my room is:

This is looking out to the left. Remember I live on the 5th floor.

This is looking straight out my balcony. If you look really closely I hope you can see the Dominoe's Pizza to the left of the palm tree.

This is the gas station to the right across the street. They have made a small attempt at Christmas decorations by putting the inflatable Santa Claus on the roof. My guess is that this has been up since last year!

This little building is the guard gate to the property next door. The guy sitting in the chair stairs at us when we are out on the balcony. This is the view over the gas station to the right into the mountains. The houses are stacked one on top of another just like many places in Europe. At night there are only a few glints of light because the power grid is rarely turned on through the night.This is another shot of the mountains to the right, I tried to include more of the street traffic.

This is the building that is going up to the left of my balcony. It maybe will be a hotel or it maybe will be a mall. Who knows if I will ever see it open, the progress so far has been over one year.

Onto the current questions of the day:

From Papa Dave Cywin: What is the fishing like there? Well Papa Dave, I have not been fishing. I have seen many people fishing in dirty rivers but I would never eat fish here (the sushi was imported I'm sure.) The fish here in certain areas eat a type of algae that makes them sick and in turn poisons those who eat it. Some volunteers who ate fish when they first got here were very sick, and needed to be hospitalized with IVs - so I will eat not any fish unless it's called tuna and comes from a can.

From Nicole Feltmann: How so you describe the smell? I took a poll and below are the answers I was able to collect. I will put them from nicest to worst!

Alfonso says "it smells like mountain dew, the cleanest and nicest breath you will ever take, but I live in Kenscoff so I guess it depends on where you stick your nose."

Vicky says "It depends. In a tap-tap (public transport) it smells like a farm because usually there are chickens with us, people sweating from working all day, food and pate (delicious fried dough with cheese or meat). But in the mountains it is like fresh breath, the kind you can fill your lungs with."

Gena says "in the orphanage it can smell like pigs when you walk to Kay Retreat (this is because the septic system is housed there!), in a tap-tap it smells like BO depending on who you sit by, and in Kay Christine (the special needs home) it smells like cinnamon because we make cinnamon tea each afternoon, in the mountains sometimes it smells like potatoes and that's good for me because I'm Irish, and in my room it smells like mushrooms because it's damp and moldy."

and finally Juliette says "it smells like urine and burning garbage."

Clearly these people all work in many different areas! I think I agree with all of them. Nicola please feel free to post a comment and tell us what you thought when you were here.

Today Alfonso and Vicky started putting up decorations for the holidays. I still have to figure out what I am going to do about cooking Thanksgiving dinner for 25-30 people. I don't have a crock pot here, that used to be my solution when I had to feed a lot of people - that or a lot of grilled cheese sandwiches and tomatoe soup (thanks Alyssa for cooking the last time!). Here is a video of Alfonso asking me to help him:

I also took a photo from the back of the truck the other day. This is what the view is out of a typical tap-tap but usually with many many many more people crammed inside. Julien and I were the only ones in the back this day because our vehicle don't give public transport rides!

Now I must get some work done. Thanks for all the kind words everyone is sending and please keep sending questions!

Robin

Sushi and Bird Nests Soup

2008-11-14T15:25:00.003-05:00

Tonight I am going to go to dinner with some friends from Hope for Haiti for sushi. Can you even imagine - sushi in Haiti? I hope it's not some seedy little shady dump that frightens the fish to their death! Of course I will take a photo and post it tomorrow.

I had a very productive day today and I treated myself to a skype break with Jeannie. Part of our conversation was so funny to me that I have to share it. One of my favorite characteristics of my dearest friend Jeannie is her endless desire to watch unconventional things on cable TV. Even now as I'm writing the blog I'm laughing so hard because the following conversation between us is so typical!

Robin says: i just saw on msn that the newest thing is bird poop facials.
Robin says: that made me laugh one because it's gross and two because today i was taking measurements of the roof and i thought a bird pooped on my shirt.
Jeannie says: mmm....that doesn't sound safe to me...but now that i think of it...is bird droppiings in some country like china prized for its medicinal uses when cooking it?
Jeannie says: i think i saw that on a cable
Jeannie says: i know i did
Robin says: eeeewwww
Jeannie says: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bird
Jeannie says: its a birds nest
Robin says: i don't even want to look!
Robin says: but i will anyway.
Jeannie says: which is made from bird saliva
Jeannie says: i knew i saw that from somewhere
Robin says: I'm totally posting our conversation on my blog today.
Robin says: can you give me permission?
Jeannie says: but of course

So now that is out of the way and I'm still laughing I would also like to say hello to my friends Mary Kay and Bill. A little bird told me you visited Friends of the Orphans and that you are keeping up with my blog. That made me so happy and I decided you needed your own special paragraph for everyone to know how wonderful I think you are!

So back to Haitian happenings...
This morning was the first morning that I drove over the hospital with another volunteer who gets use of one of the trucks (I'm so jealous) - he's from Italy so we try to communicate with a blend of Italian, Spanish, English and Creole. I don't speak Italian or much creole and he doesn't speak much Spanish, English or Creole so sometimes it's like listening to a Who's on First routine. But I think he either offered to take me and the other volunteers on holiday to the Dominican Republic because we have the truck, or he offered me use of the truck. The answer is to be determined later when I can find someone to translate! On the way back I sat in the back of the truck, and this truck is set up like a tap-tap with benches. I was leaning against the seat and realized it was wet and stunk something fierce like mildewy-moldy material. Of all the things in Haiti that could gross me out like people peeing on the sidewalk, dogs eating garbage, sick children, etc... this was the first thing that almost made me throw up! But thankfully, one hour later, I'm over it now.

I think my creole is getting better because I was able to converse a little bit today with Fr. Rick's driver, Claude, one of my favorite people here, and I think he understood me. Well, I guess we will find out if he shows up to drive me next Thursday when we are scheduled to go to Gonaive again.

We are finally starting to settle into our volunteer quarters here in Petionville. The sink has been installed in the kitchen but we do not have water yet. It's been about 2 weeks like this so hopefully if they follow the same schedule as my shower it will work next week! We also had our first delivery of food for the current month so that is exciting. I had to make the list because no one could give me any input. I hope I ordered enough because I only know how to buy for one single girl and some friends that visited every few days - this usually meant a box of pasta and some cheese.

We have a lot of people visiting for the opening of the special needs facility at the hospital in Tabarre in December. I guess I am learning really quickly how to be an event planner even though I keep trying to politely decline. But the good news is there may be some celebrities that are coming and of course I'm hoping the Italians will also bring a lot of good wine. The mini box of wine is nice but I have been too spoiled by my wine connesuier (sp? - some journalist I make, I can't even get the spell check to work here!) friends, I miss the LOS wine fests!

I just got the call for my ride. Tune in tomorrow for the photo of the sushi!
much love,
Robin

Little Fixes and Answers to Questions

2008-11-12T20:18:00.006-05:00

My shower is fixed! No more dead cockroaches in my shower. This is a huge deal because things take so long to fix in Haiti and I've only been stuck with a non-draining shower for two weeks!!!!

I'm also happy to announce that while Nebez (from St. Luke) did not make the cut from the CNN interview we did last night, there is still an exceptional article and a great clip about Haiti schools if you click here. But Annette, also from St. Luke, did make the cut with her wonderful voice over of the first Haitian women talking on the clip. And there is a link to Friends of the Orphans on CNN's website now. It was pretty exciting to talk to a reporter from CNN and actually go to meet him for an interview. Nebez was the one who was filmed but it was still cool to talk with the reporter about what NPFS and St. Luke do for the community in terms of educational opportunities. I wish there would have been more time to prepare, but live and learn!

This picture is from a few weeks ago but I love it so I had to post it. The girls tried to braid my hair but it would never stay the way theirs does. It's fun to play beauty parlor because it's the only time the girls come out to play with me! Mostly the boys are more clingy to the volunteers.

I'm happy too that some people have given me questions about what it is like to live in Haiti...And I want to throw out that my family needs to step up to the plate and give me some good questions!

Question 1 from Ally Sievers: What is the normal temperature in Haiti? This is good question, Ally, because it has three different answers. When I am in Kenscoff at the orphanage up in the mountains it is much cooler, like 70 degrees Farenheit. I hate having to say Farenheit but here they refer to everything in celcius - darn metric system! When I am in Tabarre at the hospital, it is very very hot, like 90 and all I do is sweat. But in PEtionville where I live it's actually pretty nice, most of the time I think it's about 80 or 85 and I don't notice any humidity. My room/office is on the 5th floor of the building so there is a nice breeze that crosses from the windows and out my door and keeps it pretty cool.

Question 2 from Ally Sievers: Is it weird with the road being all crazy? Yes it is weird but at the same time I love it. I want to drive so badly and everyone thinks I'm nuts for wanting to. There have been several times that I have been in the car and had to wait for the driver to change the tire somewhere along the trip. There are many many many people in the "used" tire business on the side of the roads. They are always there when a flat tire happens! Some of the roads have a ton of pot holes and that is part of the reason there are so many flat tires. Nicola and I experienced that on our first day here. Also, there are not a lot of stop lights and often times there are police trying to direct traffic at the intersections. Pedestrians definitely do not have the right of way in Haiti. If a car is coming toward you or behind you and you don't move out of the way you will get hit. I did see a little girl get hit by a car about two weeks ago because she didn't get out of the way fast enough. Thankfully, the driver stopped, helped her in his car and took her to the hospital. I don't think that there are speed limits, at least I have never seen any signs posted, and I each time I'm in the car everyone drives as fast as they possibly can, and everyone uses their horns. Most people are nice on the road but some of them act like they own it...just like at home.

Question #3 from Jenni Bertolino: What kinds of beer do they drink over there and is it warm or cold? Jenni, I love you!!! Just the perfect question from my college roommate! Most people drink either Prestige or Guiness. Most Haitians think Prestige is the best beer. Gross. It's like watered down Milwaukee's Best. And the beer is usually luke warm. At a restaurant you can get it cold. But if it's bought from the Omni Market or from a little bar on the road, it's not very cold. Mainly that is because of refrigeration issues and lack of electricty!

Question #4 from Jeannie Dentamaro: how come you have 169 facebook friends? how can you communicate with them all? I seriously hope that this question makes everyone laugh as hard as Jeannie, Nicola and I did!! The only way I can communicate with everyone is by directing them to my blog. Seriously. But on the flip side I love getting personal emails from everyone. I just don't always have the time to write long responses back because my internet cuts out halfway through and I get frustrated. I only do the blog long because I write it in Word first and then paste it here!

Question #5 from Laura Useche: What are you craving that you never expected?
My initial response was "i'm not pregnant." but then after giving it some more thought I really, really, really miss cold diet coke with ice cubes, but I don't think I crave it. I do crave Marlboro Ultralights but I think I will forever crave those. Seriously though, I do crave cheddar cheese and crackers. I used to eat that for dinner a lot at home - the joys of single girl shopping lists! I did try to buy a block of cheddar from the deli but because of the non-reliable refrigerator situation it went bad after about 2 days. I was sad I spent $8.50 US on a block of cheese the size of a block I could buy for $2.50 at home on sale at Jewel and I didn't even get to enjoy it. I love cheese.

Questions to stay tuned for: Can you do a photo montage of a day in the life of Robin? Can you take a picture of the local place you go to buy a coke and how much does the coke cost?

How do you describe the smell? Question courtesy of Nicole Feltmann. I'm actually thinking of taking a poll of other staff and volunteers and seeing what kind of answers I get! They do not seem to tire of my random questions so this might be a good one for tomorrow.

So anywho, it's getting late and another night has gone by where I have failed to watch a movie before going to bed. Social Networking through my blog is much more exciting.

Peace and love or in creole lepe e amor,
Robin

Beautiful Feet, Showers and Cockroaches

2008-11-10T20:50:00.005-05:00

Hello Hello Hello.
In my efforts to get my work website and the hospital blog up to date about the school collapse I forgot to post an update here! In my lazy effort I'll just give you the links for those two websites: NPH Website and the St. Damien Hospital Blog They have some good video feeds on them, which I can't get to feed to my computer, but I'm sure you all will be able to.

Now I'm diligently working on tracking down information for our annual updates for the fundraisers. I'm feeling a little bit of language barrier with this task but many people are being helpful to me to get this done, so add this to the list of prayers!

I just had a funny experience with Gena. She came in to tell me that a cockroach is staying in her room with her tonight because we joke about them living here with us. I tried to pick it up with a piece of paper to throw it to its death over the balcony but they move so quickly. I didn't catch it but we did shoo it down the hallway toward one of the empty rooms. It reminded me of my friend Erin who mentioned that she had something dead in her bathroom for few days before she left and I remembered that I had a dead cockroach in my shower for the past three days. Now before you think I just continued to shower with this cockroach, let me explain. I use a wide washing bucket to stand in because the water does not drain properly in my shower for the last few days. So the coachroach met it's death drowing as a result of my non-draining drain and I kept forgetting to go fishing for it after my shower! Seems I am getting used to creepy crawly things because I don't even pay attention to them. Or perhaps I'm just turning into a pig. Whatever the case, both cockroaches are now gone.

And the shower reminds me of the funny quote of the day from my favorite and only tio (uncle) here:

open scene: Alfonso sitting next to my desk after me asking to have my drain fixed again.

Alfonso to the plumber on the phone: Well you see, we have a very important lady here and we do not want to upset her by keeping her drain clogged. She also has very beautiful feet so surely you can understand that she cannot shower her feet in a shower that does not drain because it will ruin her beautiful feet.

end scene: Me laughing hysterically, 1. because he actually told the plumber that reason and 2. because my feet are the furthest thing from pretty.

And with that, I'm going to bed and hoping not to share it with the cockroach's angry brother.

Everyday Haiti needs your prayers, but especially today

2008-11-07T21:41:00.005-05:00

Hi. Thank you to everyone who has emailed me today to ask if we are ok. Earlier today there was a school in Petionville that collapsed. It was not our school. It was fairly close to where I live, a few blocks up the road and over a few blocks. There were five floors in the school and somewhere between 700 and 1500 children that could have been attending school in that building. Here is the lastest, as of this writing, CNN report link http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/americas/11/07/haiti.school.collapse/index.html.

I was in a meeting so I wasn't able to go to the scene but Fr. Rick and the St. Luc team and some nurses and doctors from St. Damien were over there right away. Fr. Rick called me after they left about 8pm and said to meet them at the Domino's Pizza (good god I miss Rosati's and Giordano's). They were all covered in dust and when I asked Fr. Rick if there was something I could do to help he said, "can you sew?" and when I looked at his pants we started laughing. His pants were ripped from the thigh to the knee! He has an endless way with words in terrible situations, it's part of what I love about working with him. Guiseppe, one of the visiting surgeons, had taken some photographs and some of them were horrible. There were children being pulled out of the debris, some alive, some not. And some photos of the president, Preval, and his Prime Minister touring the scene

And to add another blow to this burden, they got a phone call as we were walking out - to go back to the hospital and unload the container that is still sitting on the property because we get charged extra days the longer it stays there- that another accident had happened just up the road from where we were. Fr. Rick said to jump in and I could go this time. And of course I didn't have my camera, bad home correspondent! We pulled up and it looked like 3 or 4 cars were piled on top of each other, because one of the cars brakes went out. And when I say piled on top, I mean literally on top of each other...it looked like a bad accident on the Eisenhower Expressway that would have required the jaws of life - and this happened on just a road in Petionville. As soon as we stopped the truck, everyone threw on rubber gloves and I wished so badly that I was already a nurse or already trained in Emergency Rescue like all the St. Luc people are. Right away some people put two stretchers in the back of the truck and we were off to the hospital. The woman on the stretcher was bleeding badly from her side and a man was sitting in the front of the truck crying and holding his head. We had to go to a hospital in Port Au Prince because the local hospital that was open and not on strike like the other two, could not take any more patients because they were overloaded from the school collapse. I really felt inadequate and all I could do was pray for the guy on the stretcher in the back. I was turned around in the back seat of the truck watching through the window thinking "don't die, don't die, please God don't let this man die." And while I was watching, Rafael, who is one of Fr. Rick's right hand guys, was laying in the back of the truck next to this guy and had his arm under his head to try to stabilize his head during the bumpy car ride. Going anywhere in Haiti includes a bumpy car ride. I just kept thinking, if there has not been a time before this that sealed the deal for me to become a nurse or a doctor, this one was it. When Rafael came out of the ER after bringing the guy in, he had blood all over his shirt and I said again to myself, "please don't let that guy die." And all I wanted to do was hug Rafael and tell him what a good guy he is.

When we got back, the UN and other emergency responders had taken over so we jumped back in the truck and I asked them to drop me off at my building, Kay Pere Wasson, before they all went back to Tabarre to unload the trucks. Then I sat on my balcony and watched the scene while drinking a beer. Now I think I'm going to bed, if my mind can stop spinning, because I have to get up at 5 am - I'm going to the beach for a conference (isn't that nice!!) with the staff from the orphanage.

I did talk to Michelle tonight because she is my everything medical guru and I want to give her special thanks for letting me go on and on about what happened. Michelle I love you, and I'm so thankful that you are in my life to offer support and encouragement in the way that only you know how. Thank you for knowing me and understanding me when I explain how I'm feeling. God gave me a good blessing when he put you in my life!

And PS. Jeannie I hope this font is better. Let me know if I need to change it more. Thanks for the constructive criticism. I'm sure the other readers thank you too, now they don't have to get an eye exam to read my blogs!

Random Thoughts

2008-11-05T19:52:00.008-05:00

I've received some great emails from people lately asking me questions that they would like included on the blog for everyone to know the answers to. Thank you to everyone who has sent me the questions and here's my best effort to answer them:

What is your laundry situation like?
Well...up until today (and this might change tomorrow) we have not had running water at our disposal whenever we want it. We have a pump that pumps the water up to the 5th floor that we live on twice a day (in theory it should be twice a day but that hasn't always happened) at 6ish both am and pm. So when the pump is turned on I need to get into the shower ASAP otherwise the water doesn't stay pumped up here once the pump is shut off. What I usually do is take my shower, which means turn the water on, turn the shower off while I'm soaping and shampooing, and then turn the water on to rinse off. Then I fill my three buckets of water with clean water to use once the pumps are off. I save one bucket to flush the toilet because once the pump is off if I need to flush the toilet twice I don't have any water left in the tank so I use the bucket water to flush. We use the motto of don't flush if its only yellow because it helps to conserve water. Then depending on if I have enough energy I try to wash my clothes each day, otherwise they pile up quickly when I'm running around with Fr. Rick and it takes me a long time to do the laundry. So I sit in my bathroom on the step up to the toilet and wash them by hand in one bucket using the little bottle of Gain liquid soap that I paid $10US for because using the powder soap was killing my clothes. So what I'll ask Santa for this year is liquid laundry detergent - or at least $10 US to buy some more. Then after I rinse them, I take them upstairs to hang them on the line. Then when God thinks it's funny, like tonight, it rains after I wash my clothes! But the good news is they will still be dry by 7AM tomorrow morning because of the heat once the sun comes up.

Since you don't have water all the time, how do you brush your teeth and wash your face before or after bed?
I failed to mention above that along with my three buckets, I also fill up a little tupperware bowl (I just started this a few days ago) to use to wash my face at night and in the morning. But since we are supposed to have water any time in our sinks now, I hope I can stop this ritual! I also have a glass that I fill up with the filtered drinking water and I use this to brush my teeth at night and in the morning.

How are you adjusting to the money there?
Papa Dave Cywin and I had an interesting conversation about this a few days ago when I skyped their house. He asked what the currency is and when I replied "gourdes" he asked if they looked like little pumpkins! At first I was petrified of the currency because not only does Haiti have Gourdes (39 Gourdes to $1)but they also have the Haitian Dollar which is 5 Gourdes. There is not actually a Haitian Dollar, its something you have to multiply in your head. Its very bizarre because some stores were using the Haitian dollar when you check out but all the food is priced in Gourdes. I heard that it's becoming a law now that everything has to be in Gourdes and the "non-existent" Haitian Dollar will really be non-existent. We'll see about that, because like everything else in Haiti, change is slow to happen. But for now I'm getting used to the Gourdes. For example today I went to the Omni Market to buy some volunteer food, with a chaperone of course, and I bought three loaves of bread, one jar of Skippy peanut butter, 1/2 lb. of butter, one box of town house crackers, and one container of oats and it cost me 725 Gourdes (about $18.60 US). This time I actually figure it out in my head pretty quickly and knew how much change to expect from my 1000 gourde bill. Then a special celebration was that asked the clerk for a receipt - she needed my chaperone to help her understand what I said but she got the gist of it, so my Creole is improving a little bit each day!

What did the Haitians do when Barack Obama won the presidency?
I can't remember if I wrote anything about the presidential race already, but I'll tell you that yesterday, last night and this morning were a bit wild. I was IM-ing with Jenn and Steve when at the same time that Jenn wrote "fox just announced Obama won" and not even two seconds later I heard yelling and screaming coming from inside the bar one block down, and then horns going off and then chanting and shouting for about an hour. It's interesting to me that I'm in a developing country and I knew at the same time as you did that he won, and it was because of the people watching and listening outside! I went to deliver some flood relief yesterday and asked the men in the car with me why they all want Obama to win and their response was the similiar to US citizens, the economy, the war, etc. It is a well known fact that a large portion of the Haitian economy comes from family members in the states who send money home. So they hope that Obama in the White House will help the US economy and help the family members to make more money.

How many times a day does someone offer to be your boyfriend?
Today I had two offers for boyfriends. The driver of the Kay Christine van offered to be my Haitian boyfriend. And also some random old dude asked me if I would like him to be my boyfriend and of course I said no to both of them. I'm not really interested in random boyfriends who I cannot communicate well with.

What is the food like in Haiti?
I usually have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for breakfast because I don't really like toast and just like at home I'm too lazy to make an egg for myself each morning because I love my five more minutes of sleep more than my breakfast. Everyday here we have a cook who makes the one hot meal for the day. Usually it is some sort of rice or beans or pasta with legumes and sauce. The plan is to have meat once a week because our refrigerator does not always have electricity and it's hard to guarantee good meat. This makes me happy because I have to admit I've been eating the hot dogs in the spicy BBQ sauce because I love the sauce! But those may have contributed to my stomach issues over the last few days since I haven't really had meat for over a year now. The flavor here is really good and a lot of the food reminds me of toned down Indian food, which makes me really happy since Indian is my favorite ethnic food. Also, when I go with Fr. Rick and his crew for the day we typically stop and buy bread and peanut butter and jelly and make sandwiches in the parking lot. Here is a photo of the meal I had for dinner tonight and it was really delicious. I also had a sparking filtered glass of water to go along with it. One of my favorite things I brought with me are the individual packets of crystal light or the knock off from walgreens that you can buy 15 for $1 - these make a delightful treat for me each day in my plastic rubbermaid bottle that I use.

What is the gas situation like in Haiti?
Today there was a run on the gas stations because the price of oil is so low now and the goverment here wants to keep the prices high and the gas station owners want to lower the prices. So in fear of the gas stations running out of gas their were lines and lines of people waiting to fill their cars up with gas. Gas is still about $4US dollars here and tonight I spoke with my brother and he said that gas in the US is at $2.50 per gallon. I'm so jealous because the last time I filled my Escape up with gas the price was $4.24 per gallon. Today I miss my car.

Here are some funny quotes from the last few days:

Me: "Do you think we have a language barrier?"
Beautiful Haitian Man: "No. What is a language barrier?"
Me: "Exactly."

Me: "Cheri, Ki jan ou ye? - How are you darling?"
Luxom: "Papi mal - not bad" (in the cutest little haitian voice)
Luxom: "mwen vle photo - I want a photo"
Me: "di sil vous plais Robin - Say please Robin"
Luxom: "souplee - please"
and then we take this photo:

Not-so-beautiful Haitian Man: "Cheri, I have a beautiful daughter for you"
Me: "I'm not really interested in taking your child."

Fr. Rick: "Do you want to take a photo of the truck from up here?"
Me: "Sure, can I ride up in the lift?"
Fr. Rick: "Yes, OSHA doesn't exist here in Haiti."
Me: "If only the employees of Schwartz & Shaw could see me know, all these years after I used to yell at them to wear their hard hats on the job."

Ode to a Dumb Bird

2008-10-29T11:03:00.005-05:00

So there is story and a long journey behind this bird.

It had been in a our office at Friends for a long time. For those of you who know my history with this bird, you know I never liked it from the beginning for many reasons. So much so that I never even named it, and I nick-name everything. (for example: Katia, Monkey, Jeans, JBird, RD, Paulette, Nicola, Moment Stealer, Debbie Downer *brother that one's in code for you* P. Sherman, etc...) This bird has lived on the top of a shelf at 85 W. Algonquin, in the passenger seat of people's cars, in the back office, in the closet, hung from the ceiling and at a few people's houses. So instead of leaving the bird behind when I left Friends to come to Haiti, one of my friends - KATHERINE HARIG! - thought it would be a grand idea to send the bird to the DR with our other friend Roseline who in turn gave it to someone visiting from Haiti who in turn brought it to the orphanage and presented it to me. I just about dropped dead when I saw the dumb bird come creeping in the kitchen of Kay Retreat. And to make matters worse I knew I was moving to Petionville and would have to transport this bird myself. (Katherine you are so funny!!!)

Instead of carrying this bird with me in the van with everyone looking at me I decided to take it down in the truck with Alfonso, Vicky and Maeve today. Maeve had a good time playing with the bird and showing it to the children who also loved the bird. Everyone in the world except me loves this bird and I can't get rid of it!! Maeve and Alfonso also like to tease me about my many suitors here in Haiti and they suggested that my treasure is in Haiti because "wherever your treasure, there is your heart." I said "Alfonso you are prophetic" and he said "pathetic?" and I said, "NO! Prophetic and poetic." Now that I write it, it's not as funny as it was in the car, so I guess you had to be there.

Maeve said she wants to come to a Haitian wedding and I told her I would make her and Vicky bridesmaids and they will have hats made out of this dumb bird's feathers. And Katherine Jeannie and Jan will all be there wearing the bridesmaid hats too. Such sacrilege for me to talk about defeathering this bird. Everyone thinks I am so mean about this bird and don't really value it like I should. To which my reply is always: I know. I just don't like the bird. But I do have to admit, and it pains me to do so, that I am slowing growing fond of this dumb bird. It looks especially out of place now in Haiti and I feel a sort of kinship with it. White girl, dumb bird. We fit together. Katherine I know you are laughing all the way to the DR!

And NO there is not a wedding planned - so you can all just calm down. I need a boyfriend first. I think if I had news like that you would find out with a skype call instead of a blog post...

A little over a month and already she moves to the Big City!

2008-10-19T18:30:00.013-05:00

Before I forget here are the links to the photos from the past week or so. Like a dummy I completely forget to post them after writing about Gonaive last time. And I'm the information manager here!!! aarrgghh - darn brain!

Hurricane Relief to Cabare

Hurricane Relief to Gonaive

First National Day of Handisport

First Day of Swimming at Kay Germaine

Before I start, here are some good quotes from the past week:

"Put them in flour...it's cleans out their stomachs." Alfonso Leon 10/19/08 in reference to cooking snails, not anything to do with the kids!

"I see the stars in your eyes when you look at me." Random Haitian man 10/21/08 to which i replied "HAHA you should work for Hallmark too, just like the rest of the men here who tell me that." He didn't think it was funny - probably because he doesn't know Hallmark.

"I'm getting married this weekend, can you give me $200 US dollars?" Random man 10/20/08 to which I replied "and you're not even going to invite me the wedding?"

"Well, I see two paths for your future, both with dark hair" Alfonso Leon 10/28/08 to which I replied "that narrows it down to only 99% of the men here in Haiti, thanks!"

So a lot has happened since my last post and I can't believe how fast the time flies by. Since I wrote last I have gone out dancing at Esquina Latina twice and will probably not go again because it costs a lot of money for me who doesn't make much money! But it was really fun. The first time we went was for Erin's last weekend because her volunteer year was up.

We went with some really fun people and Erin and I were dancing queens by ourselves on the dance floor (girls I know you appreciate!). The club was like a picture out of an I Love Lucy episode, some shady dive club where Ricky Ricardo would have sang in Cuba and Lucy would have got herself locked in the back dance room or something. But I loved it. And they had a lot of fans so it was not hot. They played Haitian music, Latin Music, American Music and I think some European music. It was lots of fun and we got in super late. Lucky Erin and I said we would get up to make the hour trip up the mountain with Fr. Rick for mass. That was pretty.

Vicky and I spent all day last monday helping the sponsorship office take the photos of the children for the christmas cards. That was not a picnic. It took all day. But at least it's done and I did my part to help. For those of you at Friends of the Orphans I promise you that next year will be the best year of cards from Haiti. Nadine is awesome and I think together we can make it better for the offices.

I did spend some time in Tabarre at the hospital last week meeting with some people and because I had to track down my new shoes and raincoat which are still to be seen. I hope to God that they didn't get shipped to Gonaives, even though someone there is in much greater need of shoes and a jacket than I am, I am allowing myself to be selfish about them because they cost a lot of money! I'm sure I'll get them this week sometime.

The part I love most about my job here is that if something sounds fun or exciting to me I am allowed to make it "newsworthy" and go along for the day! I spent two awesome days with Gena, the Director of Kay Christine, this past week and the photos links are above. One was the first day of swimming at Kay Germaine which is the new building behind the hospital that is an outreach and education program for special needs kids. It has a therapy pool inside and Friday was the first day the kids went in the pool. It was a nice treat for me too because I got to sit with my legs in the pool and take pictures. I also had a good time on Saturday (even though I was very tired after another long Friday night at Esquina dancing) in Port Au Prince at the 1st National Day of Handisport. It was like an olympics for special needs kids. It was nice because we had a small group and could really spend one on one time with each of the kids. It was a really hot, really long, really tiring day, but totally worth it. I love Gena and I have so much fun with her and Maeve when I get to spend time with them.

I moved almost all of my things down from Kenscoff to Petionville last week. I now have a home office set up in my room and it's much more conducive to getting work done than when I had to carry my laptop with me everywhere and carry my internet box too. The building I'm in is called Kay Pere Wasson (Fr. Wasson's house) and the building houses all of the administration offices, Gena's Kay Elaine program for special needs kids here, and also has volunteer and visitor quarters. My room is much bigger, much noiser, has a private balcony, a double bed!, a private bathroom, a few more mosquitos, is central to both the hospital in Tabarre and the orphanage in Kenscoff and doesn't always have water, but I LOVE IT!! I also bought liquid laundry soap because the powdered soap with bleach is killing my clothes. I have to use it sparingly because I realized afterward that the little bottle of Gain for 24 loads cost me $10US. Blaaahhh - Haitian economy!

This is my room:

Yeah Mosquito Nets!

This is my bathroom!!!

This is the general hang out area even though none of us hang out here yet because there are really only 2 of us here full time right now and two that stay here part-time. The back of this room opens up to the terrace and it's wonderful because it's nice and breazy and the view is beautiful. I haven't been able to get good photos yet because the weather hasn't given my a clear day this week, but I will get them sometime soon.

This is the Kitchen without a sink or cabinets yet but they are coming soon. We get one hot meal each day around 1pm and then we eat the left overs for dinner. But we always (well we are supposed to) have bread, peanut butter, tea, sugar, etc.

Living here the past week has really made me feel even more at home than I did in the orphanage. I can do my work at my desk at 9:30 pm just like in the old days (JAN & KATHERINE!!!!!!) and it's great! I live on the 5th floor and I think I've lost 10 lbs. just this week because I must have climbed those stairs literally 15 times a day. It's good for my butt, but I couldn't figure out how come my legs hurt so bad on Saturday - at least I don't have to feel bad about not going for a walk everyday...not that I would feel inclined to feel bad anyway!

So for my next post I want to put up 20 questions because it is my favorite game. So send me questions on email robbi7576@gmail.com about what you want to know specifically and I'll answer them in the next couple days!

Love to all,

Robin